General Idiocy

Two co-workers watch a woman showering in a window across the street.

Female co-worker: Is she dry showering?
Guy: No, there’s soap on her legs. Wow, those are America’s cleanest boobs.
Female co-worker: You can’t see soap from here.
Male co-worker: You can with the binoculars in my office.

Male co-worker runs to get the binoculars.

Female co-worker: Uh oh. She just cleaned somewhere funny.
Boss: What’s going on?… Ahh, a nudie with fake boobies! I love a good set of fake knockers!
Male co-worker: She has a scar on her butt.
Boss: I think that’s a tattoo.
Female co-worker: She should get that checked out.

225 North Michigan
Chicago, Illinois

Client: Wait, so what do you mean I can use my debit card. How does a debit card work? Do you like, just write it in your check registry?
Stylist: Yeah, it’s like a check, only electronic. You have to use your PIN number.
Client: I’ve never seen this before! Wait, I don’t know my PIN number.
Stylist: It’s the same as your ATM number. It’s the same thing.
Client: …This is amazing!

110 East Delaware Place
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: phone girl

Prehistoric employee: So your email address… is the com with one or two Ms?

Melbourne
Victoria
Australia

Overheard by: Time to retire

Boss on speakerphone: Yes, I need the data charts for the presentation tomorrow, could you e-mail them to me electronically?
Employee: Electronically? Uhhhh, yes, I’ll do it right away.

Houston, Texas

Overheard by: Corporate stooge

Trainer: When you answer the phone, feel free to say something like “good morning” or “good afternoon.”
Trainee: You mentioned “good morning” and “good afternoon” but what am I supposed to say if it's evening?

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Karen

Guy in charge of newspaper, commenting on Avatar opening: People seem to be going back to movies now.

Manhattan, New York

Client: You need to fix this design; the text is way too big.
Web designer: What is the text size in your browser set to?
Client: It’s on large so I can read it better.

1335 Columbus Avenue
San Francisco, California

Employee #1: Do we have any Band-Aids in the back?
Manager, after long pause: Uh…I don’t think so.
Employee #2: Oh, Susan* said we did. I need one.
Manager: Um…I’m pretty sure we don’t, but I’ll look.

After disappearing in the back for 5 minutes, manager comes back out to the register.

Employee #1: So there were none back there?
Manager: Nope.
Employee #2: I’m sure there are some. Not even in the first aid kit?
Manager, after another long pause: Oooh! Band-Aids! I thought you said, “Mayonnaise”!

Victoria’s Secret
New Mexico

Trainer: ‘Charismatic.’ That’s onomatopoeic.
Employee: What?
Trainer: Onomatopoeic. Like, when I say ‘chocolate,’ you can hear it.

Fenkle Street
Newcastle
England

Overheard by: Kaethe

Co-worker: Does anyone have a tissue?
Boss: I have a notepad.

1600 Technology Way
Latrobe, Pennsylvania