Customer: I would like to complain about the woman who works here. She was very rude to me for no reason, even yelling, and then made me leave.
Clerk: Are you the guy who was walking around naked?
Customer: Oh…ah, well… [Leaves quickly]
Porn store
Bozeman, Montana
Boss on phone: Is this the driver who stole money from us and owes me some collard greens?
3451 North Shadeland Avenue
Indianapolis, Indiana
Boss on phone: I couldn’t find anything wrong with it, they did a great job. I mean, to be honest, I never looked at it, but I’m sure they did a great job. It looks good.
703 McKinney Avenue
Dallas, Texas
Office worker: Can you come in tomorrow, say, 6PM?
Intern: Naw, I got my fencing class.
Office worker: What?
Intern: You know, just in case the English attack again.
717 D Street NW
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Dannie Boyer
Female sales rep: And that's Joan, j-o-a-n, not j-o-n-e.
Delran, New Jersey
Overheard by: Bruce Banner
Receptionist: What if a man mated with a cheetah? Would he be able to participate in the Olympics?
Redmond, Washington
Overheard by: Cheetaur
Supervisor surfing the net for “news”: Look! A cyclops baby was born in India! This is what happens when I don’t keep up with current events.
666 Fifth Avenue
New York, New York
Manager: Here you go.
Employee: Oh, thank goodness. This is what she’s looking for…I’m so glad you found it. I would have had to redo it right now.
Manager: I found it on your desk.
303 East Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Security guard #1: What do you call those people who aren’t Chinese or Japanese or Asian?
Security guard #2: Korean?
State Capitol Building
Santa Fe, New Mexico
Overheard by: doodles
Boss: Where are the nipples?
Lab employee: Nipples?
Boss: Yah, the nipples. You know, squeezie squeezie?
Lab employee: Do you mean pipette bulbs?
Boss: Whatever.
6275 Nancy Ridge Drive
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Meghan Lake
