Remind Me Again Why You’re in Charge?

Employee #1: Do we have any Band-Aids in the back?
Manager, after long pause: Uh…I don’t think so.
Employee #2: Oh, Susan* said we did. I need one.
Manager: Um…I’m pretty sure we don’t, but I’ll look.

After disappearing in the back for 5 minutes, manager comes back out to the register.

Employee #1: So there were none back there?
Manager: Nope.
Employee #2: I’m sure there are some. Not even in the first aid kit?
Manager, after another long pause: Oooh! Band-Aids! I thought you said, “Mayonnaise”!

Victoria’s Secret
New Mexico

Posted on February 2, 2015
Coworkers, Dumb Bosses, General Idiocy, Health & Hygiene, Meals and Snacks, New Mexico, Retail

Its Melody Is Semisweet

Trainer: ‘Charismatic.’ That’s onomatopoeic.
Employee: What?
Trainer: Onomatopoeic. Like, when I say ‘chocolate,’ you can hear it.

Fenkle Street
Newcastle
England

Overheard by: Kaethe

Posted on February 1, 2015
Dumb Bosses, England, General Idiocy

10AM Order Supplies

Co-worker: Does anyone have a tissue?
Boss: I have a notepad.

1600 Technology Way
Latrobe, Pennsylvania

Posted on February 1, 2015
Bosses and Underlings, General Idiocy, Health & Hygiene, Pennsylvania, Questions

Just Don’t Put Them In the Third One From the Left; That’s For Tax Evasion

Co-Worker #1: You said if I was bored, I could go through the packing slips, right?
Co-Worker #2: Sure, go ahead.
Co-Worker #1: And you want me to get rid of the ones that are older than six months, right?
Co-Worker #2: Right.
Co-Worker #1: So throw them out?
Co-Worker #2: Yup.
Co-Worker #1: In the garbage?
Co-Worker #2: Uh-huh.
Co-Worker #1: Should I bring them out back to the recycling cans?
Co-Worker #2: You could put them in that recycling bin right under your desk if you wanted to take the time to sort them. We only recycle white paper.
Co-Worker #1: So should I put them in the dumpster out back?
Co-Worker #2: Really, throw them out in any garbage can you want. It. Doesn’t. Matter.

150 Batson Drive
Manchester, Connecticut

Posted on February 1, 2015
Connecticut, Coworkers, General Idiocy, Questions

I'll Just Use the Toaster and Hope for the Best

Office manager, heating up lunch: “Just add water and microwave for four minutes.” No, that has too many directions.

Detroit, Michigan

Overheard by: Confused

Posted on January 31, 2015
Bosses, General Idiocy, Meals and Snacks, Michigan, Technology

It Was the ‘Let’s All Go to the Lobby’ Promo

Lady peon: Oh my god, last night I saw the most confusingest movie ever.

Barnie’s Coffee and Tea
Jupiter, Florida

Overheard by: Bored Coffee Girl

Posted on January 31, 2015
Dumb Employees, Florida, General Idiocy, The Cafe

How Was My Penmanship, for Example?

Student to professor: So, the only comment you made on my paper was that I completely missed the point of the assignment… So everything else was okay?

Saskatoon, Saskatchewan
Canadia

Posted on January 30, 2015
Canadia, General Idiocy, Students, The Classroom

No, the French Are What’s Wrong with France

Employee #1: It’s them damn environmentalists that make the gas prices so high.
Employee #2: Yeah, those morons won’t let us drill for oil anywhere. They’re what’s wrong with this country.
Employee #1: Yeah, them and the French.

North 6th Street
Gainesville, Florida

Overheard by: Environmentalist