Gossipy secretary: I don't mean to say she's a moron, but she's a moron.
New York City, New York
Gossipy secretary: I don't mean to say she's a moron, but she's a moron.
New York City, New York
Sales rep: No, she's back with her boyfriend, who's just a dick. Actually, not even interesting enough to be a dick. I mean, he works at Foot Locker.
West Bridgewater, Massachusetts
Assistant #1: I just accidentally punched that girl in the head by the fax machine.
Assistant #2: Good.
Assistant #1: Yeah, but then she said “Ow” all drawn out and gave me a nasty look.
Assistant #2: What a bitch.
Assistant #1: Quit squatting by the fax machine and I won’t punch you in the head.
233 Spring Street
New York, NY
Laywer: So you were locked in a room that had a gas leak?
Client: Yeah. Man, we was trying to get out quick as we could. I mean, if we didn’t make it out when we did, we could’ve been sophisticated!
Lawyer: Asphyxiated?
Client: Whatever.
Public Square
Cleveland, Ohio
Girl on cell in hallway: I tend to go wherever my nipples lead me.
Alpharetta, Georgia
Employee #1: I was just printing that thing you asked for!
Employee #2: This isn’t what I asked for.
Employee #1: Yes, it is — it’s hotel information.
Employee #2: It is, but I asked you for information on a meeting.
Employee #1: Okay…
Employee #2: … And you printed hotel information.
Employee #1: Right.
Employee #2, sighing: Where is the meeting information?
Employee #1: Oh! The meeting! You should have just said that in the first place, silly!
Employee #2: I– Just forget it.
Employee #1: Okie dokie!
Waltham, Massachusetts
Boss: …and I need a costume. I need to go dressed like a king and then I am going to a concert afterwards. I can go as any old king, Old King Cole, Nat King Cole…that would be great! I just have to have enough time to get the make-up on my face.
444 Park Ave South
New York, NY
CSR: Oh my god. I just spilled soup on my glasses! I was eating soup and it splashed on my face.
1005 17th Street
Denver, Colorado
VP: She was mean! She said, “I guess I’ll just have to come up to New York and kill you then.”
Assistant: Was she being sarcastic?
VP: I think so.
30 E. 33rd Street
New York, NY
Lady: Uhh, hi, do you sell cigarettes?
Cashier: No, this is a plant nursery.
Lady: Yeah, I know. So you don’t have them?
Cashier: No, ma’am, this is a plant nursery. We sell plants here.
Lady: But cigarettes come from tobacco, and that’s a plant. I figured if anyone would sell them it would be you.
6831 Central Avenue
St. Petersburg, Florida
