Older woman #1: What are you going to do while you’re here?
Young man: Oh, I’m gonna shop like a mofo!
Older woman #1: Mofo? What is that?
Older woman #2: What does that mean?
Young man: Uh…it, uh…means I’m gonna shop a lot!
Older woman #2: Oh…Is that a Negro term?
Victoria, British Columbia
Canadia
Overheard by: J. Max
UPS guy: Hey [FedEx guy] — while you’re in there, can you pick me up some of those neon green spandex?
FedEx guy, delivering to American Apparel: Thong or panties?
UPS guy: Thong — extra-small.
Story Street
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Coworker #1: Did you work here in 1993?
Coworker #2: ‘Here’ in what sense?
1110 West Washington Street
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: next cube over
Boss: Why didn’t you have a cover letter on the copy to the client?
New employee: I didn’t know I was supposed to have one. I didn’t think to ask if I needed it.
Boss: From now on, if you don’t know the question, you should ask it.
1700 66th Street
St. Petersburg, Florida
Queer peon: You need to shave.
Scruffy suit: Shaving's for homos!
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: Not Homo
Supervisor: Did you answer my phone while I was gone?
Worker bee: It didn’t ring.
Supervisor: Well, did John call for me?
Worker bee: He didn’t call. Your phone didn’t ring.
Supervisor: But did you answer a call from John?
Worker bee: No, when your phone didn’t ring, I didn’t answer it, and when I didn’t answer it, John wasn’t the one that didn’t call.
75 Washington Avenue
Portland, Maine
Overheard by: brian brinegar
Customer service associate to graphic artist: Yeah, I just wanted to get your uninformed opinion on that file.
Nashville, Tennessee
Boyfriend to girlfriend: I can't get an elephant tattooed on my ass, elephants are really big.
Girlfriend: People have solar systems tattooed on them, and those things are fucking huge.
Mahwah, New Jersey
Co-worker #1: Is that a boob?
Co-worker #2: Yeah, I think it is.
Co-worker #1: There aren’t any appropriate pictures of Native Americans!
625 Mount Auburn Street
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Girl #1: Did you finish with the Christmas card?
Girl #2: We call it holiday card now. Because everyone is not Catholic.
Girl #1: You know it’s not just Catholics that celebrate Christmas; Christians celebrate it too.
Girl #2: Oh they do? I didn’t know because I’m Catholic.
Fifth Avenue
New York City, New York
Overheard by: But Catholics ARE Christians
