Coworker #1: I didn't know you wore glasses!
Coworker #2: These are yours.
Manhattan, New York
Coworker #1: I didn't know you wore glasses!
Coworker #2: These are yours.
Manhattan, New York
Checkout teen: Would you like a CVS rewards card?
Hippie girl: No.
Checkout teen, hopefully: They're environmentally friendly.
Old Bridge, New Jersey
IT manager: What is the plan for the internal server deployment?
IT drone: We are going to the client on Monday to stand up the server.
IT manager: You promised me a plan by 5/1. Where is it?
IT drone: The plan is that we will go to the client on Monday and do the work.
IT manager: You understand, I need a plan. When can you get it to me?
Washington, DC
Software developer, after running a successful test: Boo-yah! I’m not dumb! I may not know what 12 minus 5 is, but I’m not dumb! Who cares if I can’t add?
Suburb
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Cube dweller to another, shouting after argument: Just because you're mad it doesn't give you the right to be indigent.
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: vamp slayer
Co-worker #1: Why do you keep breaking your pens? That’s company property.
Co-worker #2: I break things so I don’t have to kill again.
120 East Shore Drive
Glen Allen, Virginia
Overheard by: Chris
Man to friend: If I knew it was that easy to lose weight from getting sick I'd have licked my dog's butt a long time ago.
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Chimpy
Cubicle dweller with too much free time: Do you think that at the paperclip company staples are outlawed?
Sarasota, Florida
Office dude: Ow! Son of a..!
Office chick: Oh, are you OK?
Office dude: I just banged my penis on the desk.
395 Hudson Street
New York, NY
Lawyer: Did you know there was a gun in the house?
Defendant: No.
Lawyer: Did you hold the gun at any point?
Defendant: No.
Lawyer: Did you threaten anyone with the gun?
Defendant: I don’t remember.
Courthouse
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: not a juror
