Coworker #1: Where are we supposed to meet for the tornado drill?
Coworker #2: Beth* said that we can just stay at our desks because we’re already in the basement. She’ll come around and do a head count.
Coworker #1: So we don’t have to go outside, then?
Coworker #2: Um… no.
7000 Portage Road
Kalamazoo, Michigan
Overheard by: Snark Monster
Boss: I don’t get it. Why are these entries all wrong?
Data entry grunt: Look at the user report. Out of 75 users, 67 of them are entering the data incorrectly. We need to get those 67 in a training session so we’re all on the same page.
Boss: I’m not sure how — I’ve never had to do this before.
Data entry grunt: Right… Can we just take a moment here so you can explain to me why you’re the manager but I’m the one that does the managing?
K-V Road
Victoria, Virginia
Government employee #1, explaining the organization: Yeah, we do a lot of work with countries in Africa and South America… Countries without functioning democracies…
Government employee #2: But wait — we’ve worked with England and Japan, too. It’s not just the B-list countries.
Government employee #3: Wait, aren’t all countries B-list in relation to the U.S.?
666 11th Street NW
Washington, DC
Female employee, in front of doorway: Why are some really big and others small?
Male employee: Dunno, seems like it was meant to be.
United Way
South Florida
Auditioning guy: So, what should I put down for ‘Citizenship’?
Casting intern #1: Were you born in the United States?
Auditioning guy: Yes.
Casting intern #1: Then put down that you’re a U.S. citizen.
Auditioning guy: Does it matter that I moved to Oregon for eight months?
Casting intern #1: Did you really just–
Casting intern #2, cutting him off: –No, it doesn’t matter.
MTV dating show auditions
Santa Monica, California
Overheard by: Liz
Director to manager: Oh, that. I forgot about that. Actually, I didn't forget it. I just didn't remember that I knew it.
Oregon
Overheard by: gurltech
Web developer #1: This is going to be ugly, but I’m going to do it anyway.
Web developer #2: That’s what she said.
Web developer #1: Even I wasn’t expecting that one.
7255 East Hampton Avenue
Mesa, Arizona
Overheard by: Chris Cardinal
Co-worker #1: Ooh, that smells nice.
Co-worker #2: It’s salami. I got it in Czechoslovakia.
Co-worker #1: I didn’t know the Czechs were famous for salami.
Co-worker #2: They’re not. It’s Hungarian salami.
7520 Astoria Boulevard
Jackson Heights, New York
Lawyer: Did you hear about Vanessa*?
Secretary: No. What about her?
Lawyer: Yeah, poor Vanessa. She woke up dead on July 4th.
Broad Street
Louisville, Georgia
Woman: Oh, I love that place!
Man: Wait, which place?
Woman: I don’t know, whatever place you were just talking about.
Laurel Street
Fort Collins, Colorado
