General Idiocy

Girl #1: Ummm, we need to make copies, and we don’t want to spend a lot of money.
Student worker: The copier over there is 10 cents, same as everywhere on campus.
Girl #1: That’s so expensive!
Student worker: You could also scan the papers and print them out. That’s free.
Girl #1: What do you mean?
Student worker: Ummm, you can put them on the scanner, hit ‘Scan,’ and then when they pop up, hit ‘Print.’
Girl #1: I don’t know about this whole scanning thing — it sounds really complicated.
Girl #2: But that sounds better than making copies. I mean, we only need 12, and I don’t want to spend 12 dollars.

Campus library, Bemidji State University
Bemidji, Minnesota

Peon: I can’t believe they’re having us do this even though we’re the low men on the scrotum pole!

Times Square
New York, New York

Older coworker: Lemme put it in your Google.

Meridian Street
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Mine?

Female office worker: My mother's having surgery to remove a tumor in her breast today, so count me out for the lunch meeting, I'm going to wait for a phone call on her condition.
Male office worker (uncomfortably): Uh, I hope she's ok. Have you heard from Chris today?
Female office worker: No, he's coming in, right?
Male office worker: As far as I know, hope he doesn't have breast cancer.

Law Firm
New York City, New York

Girl: So I have this friend with an eight-month-old baby, and she named him ‘Color.’ It’s a little weird, because the baby’s dad is African-American… But the baby looks really white, so that makes it better.

Eau Claire, Wisconsin

VP: Wow that sounds bad. Do we need to have a pre-meeting about that meeting?

3415 Vision Drive
Columbus, Ohio

Boss in meeting: Let's send out an e-mail to all employees announcing our new employee newsletter before we e-mail it to everyone, because otherwise people won't read it if it just shows up in their in-box.

Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: overcommunication hurts

Office grunt: This water is so cold. It’s like liquid ice.

1401 Constitution Avenue NE
Washington, DC

Manager: We’re in Gwinnett County. You need to be 10 feet from the walkway if you want to legally smoke.
Smoker #1: Like, isn’t that unfair? What if you’re a midget? Your feet would be about half the size of mine…No, seriously. Look how big my feet are! They’re like twice the size of midget feet…Oh! You mean like a ruler!
Smoker #2: Yeah, haven’t you ever heard of the metric system?

333 Research Court
Norcross, Georgia

Finance manager: Every time an e-mail outage occurs I'm working on something, and I have to start over. I need you to let me know an hour or so ahead of time next time the system is going to crash.
IT guy: Ummmmm…

Auburn, Indiana

Overheard by: dru