Office grunt: This water is so cold. It’s like liquid ice.
1401 Constitution Avenue NE
Washington, DC
Office grunt: This water is so cold. It’s like liquid ice.
1401 Constitution Avenue NE
Washington, DC
Manager: We’re in Gwinnett County. You need to be 10 feet from the walkway if you want to legally smoke.
Smoker #1: Like, isn’t that unfair? What if you’re a midget? Your feet would be about half the size of mine…No, seriously. Look how big my feet are! They’re like twice the size of midget feet…Oh! You mean like a ruler!
Smoker #2: Yeah, haven’t you ever heard of the metric system?
333 Research Court
Norcross, Georgia
Finance manager: Every time an e-mail outage occurs I'm working on something, and I have to start over. I need you to let me know an hour or so ahead of time next time the system is going to crash.
IT guy: Ummmmm…
Auburn, Indiana
Overheard by: dru
Boss: From now on, people, we’re going to make Perfection our baseline.
The development team laughs.
Developer: Dude, whatever the fuck you’ve been reading, stop it.
1 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: Mad William Flint
Mike: What's Linkedin?
Ryan: It's Facebook for professional people.
Mike: Well, I should get on that, because I'm pretty fucking professional!
Wilmington, North Carolina
Assistant: Hey, I couldn’t figure out how to put it into Word from Excel. So here you go.
Boss: You just cut and paste it.
Assistant: But you can’t do that from Excel to Word, it won’t let you.
Boss: Yes, you can, just right-click and copy and paste it.
Assistant: Trust me, I just spent the whole morning trying to, it’s a locked document.
Boss: OK, 1947 called, and they want their technology ability back. What’s wrong with you? Hey, who hired you again?
300 Boylston Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Cam
Receptionist: With a “c”?
(pause)
Receptionist: Catherine with a “c”?
(pause)
Receptionist: Oh, you mean “k” as in “cat”!
Seguin, Texas
Overheard by: Vivian
Guy: Fuck, she is just a total bitch.
Woman #1: What race is she?
Woman #2: Duh, female.
720 Bay Street
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Executive assistant: Does anyone have a dictionary?
Coworker: No, but it is online. You can just go to dictionary.com, or Google dictionary.
Executive assistant: That sounds too hard for me. Can you just e-mail me the link?
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: I can't belive she gets paid more than me
Female admin: I'll be in charge of this project–it'll be my baby.
Safety trainer: Retarded?
Storrs, Connecticut
