Feelings

Female employee on cell: You think he still loves me?…No, I think I peed myself right off that pedestal.

201 North Washington Street
Alexandria, Virginia

Overheard by: Mandi

Male client service monkey: Oh man, I can’t wait to prance around the office in my tights.

Sansome and Sutter
San Francisco, California

Office lesbian: Alex and I had another fight. Want to buy a new iPod with the engraving “Happy 21st birthday Alex”?
Office grunt: Has it been polished with tears?

Cleveland, Ohio

Overheard by: Finding humor in misfortune

Coworker: I've been so funny all day that it's not even funny.

Hawthorne, New York

Overheard by: evildead1971

Patient #1 to family member on Skype: Yeah, they're taking real good care of me. (to nurse) Say hi to my sister.
(nurse leans in to computer screen, waves hello)
Family member on Skype: Is he being a good patient?
Patient #2, on other side of curtain: He's cryin' like a little bitch!

Stony Brook Hospital
Long Island, New York

Ad rep on the phone with client: So, Wendy isn’t my real name, but I changed it to Wendy, because I like Peter Pan so much. Like, even as a kid, I used to jump out of windows.

Gulf of Mexico Drive
Longboat Key, Florida

Employee to boss: Your compliments feel better than most people's compliments…

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: chickago

Cool manager: No genitalia sculptures on my desk this morning… Pretty good day.

Broomfield, Colorado

Overheard by: Russ G

Boss on phone: So my friend said, “I found myself sobbing at my desk at 1 am on a Saturday” and I told her, “welcome to the non-profit sector!” (breaks down into uncontrollable laughter)

Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: widget

Female office worker #1, about anal sex: I've never had a guy even try… I wonder if it's because of us, or the guys we date?
Female office worker #2: I don't think it's me. It must be the guys. You go for the “sensitive type.”
Female office worker #1: Yeah … and you go for douchebags.

Commonwealth Ave
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Oh Dear