Student: You look very excited.
Professor: Yeah, ’cause I just peed!
Rolfe Hall, UCLA
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Josh M.
Student: You look very excited.
Professor: Yeah, ’cause I just peed!
Rolfe Hall, UCLA
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Josh M.
CSR to another: I am so tired today… I couldn't sleep last night. First I was waiting to check the Powerball numbers, and then found out I didn't win and have to go back to work today. I was so mad I couldn't fall asleep!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: unleaded
Office worker: You know how everyone just looks at themselves and sees pure ugliness?
1800 G Street NW
Washington, DC
Female coworker, about manager: I'm not sayin' that I'm fuckin' Coretta Scott King in this bitch, but I'm not fartin' in a cubicle!
West Lafayette, Indiana
Coworker #1: I had two gallstones removed years ago, and I kept them. I want to get them made into earrings for my wife.
Coworker #2: But that's creepy. What if she doesn't want to wear them?
Coworker #1: If she really loved me, she would!
Norwood Park South
Norwood, Massachusetts
Office worker #1: I'm so damn hungry, I need real food.
Office worker #2: Yeah, I can imagine that liquid diet wouldn't be too filling or satisfying.
Office worker #2: I feel like I'm an African refugee.
Chantilly, Virginia
Receptionist: I feel like I look like I just rolled out of bed and came into work.
Dental assistant: Well…did you?
Receptionist: Well, yeah…but still!
Centennial, Colorado
Marketing manager: I love me some cock sauce!
New England Executive Park
Burlington, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Skipping The Salad Bar Today
Woman: I haven’t talked to Henry* in a week. I’m through with him.
Man: Why? What happened?
Woman: He’s sooo selfish. He took the last t-shirt out of my drawer and wore it.
Man: That’s it? Dumped him over a t-shirt?
Woman: I texted him and told him we’re through.
Man: Wow. Dumped over a Hanes.
Woman: Yep. Infidelity I forgave, but don’t take my last goddamned t-shirt out of my fuckin’ drawer. Selfish!
45 South Illinois Street
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
