CSR, on customer welcome call: Is your last name Valdez?
Customer: Yes, it is.
CSR, on customer welcome call: Is your father Juan Valdez? You can say you have a famous father!
Troy, Michigan
Overheard by: Mortgage Whisperer
CSR, on customer welcome call: Is your last name Valdez?
Customer: Yes, it is.
CSR, on customer welcome call: Is your father Juan Valdez? You can say you have a famous father!
Troy, Michigan
Overheard by: Mortgage Whisperer
Batty old receptionist to worker: So what did you do over Thanksgiving weekend?
Worker: Oh, I delivered twins!
Batty old receptionist: Okay…
Worker: I'm a Big Sister with Big Brothers/Big Sisters, and my little sister got pregnant. Guess that means I'm not such a good Big Sister…
Beverly Hills, California
Executive, reading underling's shirt: “World's coolest dad” …your kids buy that for you?
Orchard Park, New York
Secretary #1: Yeah, he has warosis. That's when you've just gotten back from a war and you have all this trauma from it.
Secretary #2: Oh gosh. I've heard of that – my granddad had it when he got back from the war.
Queen Street
Melbourne
Australia
Female employee: What the hell is she fussing at? He’s only two years older than her. If he’s old, she’s old!
Office manager: She’s just trying to ruffle your feathers.
Sales guy: You should tell her your husband can beat up her husband.
Assistant: Which one? She’s got a couple.
Female employee: Hey!
Sales guy: Haha, I forgot she’s got like three husbands now.
Female employee: I hate you guys.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Peon #1: I bought my son a small hamster when he was about seven or eight. We didn't know it at the time, but the hamster was pregnant with a litter of nine. After she had given birth to her pups, we noticed that she started biting their little heads off. My son was very upset because of this, and so was I. I looked it up online and I ended up reading somewhere that hamster moms don't behead their young after their eyes have opened, and we had one hamster left, and its eyes had opened. We figured everything would be fine, but when I came home from work the next day we saw that she killed that one as well. My son was bawling his eyes out that evening.
Peon #2: That's terrible. What ended up happening?
Peon #1: I put her in a coffee canister and took her out to the woods… and I threw her in a snake pit. I'm not sure if she made it out.
Hampton, Virginia
Woman at table with friends: Eskimos are really fascinating. Did you know that they almost always have twins? (friends shake their heads) Oh, wait. I mean sheep.
http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2008/11/now-i-want-some-eskimo-cheese.html
Overheard by: Ian
Boss: My daughter's turning two tomorrow.
Employee: What can I get her? Anything she doesn't have that she really needs?
Boss: An “off” button.
Santa Barbara, California
Marketing coworker: My wife is an identical twin.
AP coworker: Did you ever ask them for a threesome?
Marketing coworker: Hell no! My wife's twin is a pain in the ass!
Greenwood Village, Colorado
