Peon #1: My husband's Xbox died last night.
Peon #2: Oh, how sad. Were they close?
Sacramento, California
Peon #1: My husband's Xbox died last night.
Peon #2: Oh, how sad. Were they close?
Sacramento, California
Coworker to another: I still live at home with my mom and dad; and I have no reproductive opportunities whatsoever.
Irvine, California
Overheard by: travisperiod
Man on phone: Now, is this something that if I open it at home, it'll explode? Oh, right, in case a group of nuns is taking a tour. Well, thank you uncle Eugene! I hope you shoot something this weekend!
Scranton, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Who exactly is this Uncle Eugene?
Security guard in lobby: Ma'am, you need to take the baby out of the pumpkin seat before you put the pumpkin seat through the x-ray machine.
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Girl Friday
CSR on phone with daughter: My mom never picked me up when I had cramps. You’re staying at school. Period.
473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon
Mother of freshman student: California kids are different. They are very different. They're just a different type of human being.
Loyola University
Maryland
Overheard by: Exhausted Admin
Worker: I need you to pick up one of my kids, since you're already out there.
Peon: Why? What happened?
Worker: She missed the bus…again. Oh, wait, it gets better. It was the short bus. How do you miss the freaking short bus? It waits for you! The cherry on top of the sundae is that this is the second time it's happened.
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Coworker to another: That guy walking down the street looks like my brother's baby's mama's other baby's daddy.
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Dad: I swear, I am going to break her arm by the time she is two.
Mom: She is two.
Dad: Three, then.
Outback Steakhouse
Green Brook, New Jersey
Receptionist: God, I love today.
Supervisor: You know, I hate it when you get laid.
Receptionist, blushing: Yeah, I know…
General manager: You're just saying that because your wife won't put out.
Supervisor: That's not really funny.
General manager: Yeah, it is… If we were lucky, Tammy here would hire out, then everyone could get laid.
Roswell, New Mexico
Overheard by: Yikes!
