Old drone: My dad, when he got older, cut off his mustache, but then it wouldn't grow back in all the way, and he looked like Hitler.
Delran, New Jersey
Overheard by: Bruce Banner
Old drone: My dad, when he got older, cut off his mustache, but then it wouldn't grow back in all the way, and he looked like Hitler.
Delran, New Jersey
Overheard by: Bruce Banner
Employee: You're not going to a chiropractor, are you?
Boss: No. She's a lesbian voodoo doctor. She's next to a bagel shop.
Vancouver
Canadia
Guest: Man, I really love your food!
Server: Thank you, sir.
Guest: It gives me the strength of a puma!
Server: Uh… thank you sir?
5th St
Cincinnati, Ohio
Attendant: Is the cat male or female?
Animal Cop: Female.
Attendant: So you checked?
Animal Cop: No, I didn’t check the plumbing, if that’s what you mean.
Attendant: So how do you know it’s a female?
Animal Cop: Because the cat was feisty. Kind of like my wife.
326 110th Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: M.L. Liu
Office girl: And that game of Pictionary nearly broke up our family.
Scarborough
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: C.note
Reporter: I know how to do CPR. I have the CPR ap on my iPhone.
Augusta, Georgia
Worker, about endoscope diameters: The smaller they are, the more expensive… like bikinis.
Toronto
Canadia
Advisor guy: You just gotta remember–you can't jump jumbo.
Austin, Texas
Female: But there's like four or five on one arm!
Male: I know they're green, but are they hard? Soft?
Female: Big. Green.
New York State Psychiatric Institute
Overheard by: Rina
Head of security: There's nothing wrong with having an expanded vocabulary.
Chief engineer: I fuckin' love it!
Boston, Massachusetts
