And the Occasional Puppetry, Of Course.

Man on phone: I'm having surgery next week. (pause) I'm having penis enlargement surgery. (pause) Yeah, but I don't really use mine much anymore. It's good for taking a whiz, and that's about it.

Salt Lake City, Utah

Posted on March 26, 2015
Body Parts, Employees, Health & Hygiene, On the phone, Utah, Weirdness

Good for You, Maggie. Good for You.

Cube dweller: What's up, chest hair?
Office dweller with unbuttoned shirt: I don't *have* any chest hair…and I like it that way.

Owings Mills, Maryland

Overheard by: widget

Posted on March 25, 2015
Body Parts, Employees, Maryland, Physical Appearance, Questions

I'm Just Making Sure They're Not Too Itchy

Manager swaying through office (at the top of his lungs): I'll have your panties for you in a minute!

Reynoldsburg, Ohio

Overheard by: Cube Dweller

Posted on March 24, 2015
Clothes, Default, Employees, Ohio, Weirdness

Goes With Everything, Sir

Manager: My comments are below in red.
Office girl: And mine are written in purple.
CEO: My comments are written in cowshit brown.

Windsor
Australia

Overheard by: DesignGirl

Posted on March 24, 2015
Animals, Australia, Bosses, Colors, Employees, Weirdness

11AM Smoke Break

Bookseller: I cleaned up all the damn puppets. All of them! Then, watched as a father allowed his children to throw all of them on the floor, play for an hour, then leave them. He grinned at me, said ‘Kids, right?’, then left. It took all I had not to tear that grin off his face, and shove it so far up his fucking ass that I could then reattach it backwards…Wow, four hours really is too long to go without a cigarette!
Cashier: That was the best image I’ve had all day. Go smoke so that I can savor it alone.

430 W Vine Street
Lexington, Kentucky

Overheard by: Laughing coworker

Posted on March 24, 2015
Advice, Employees, Gripes, Kentucky, Retail, Sales, Substance Use & Abuse, Violence

I’m a Great Distraction at Funerals

Female grocery stocker to male co-stocker: I laugh when I’m nervous, I can’t help it.
Male co-stocker: Yeah?
Female grocery stocker: Yeah. It’s really bad on roller coasters, I crack up. And I always laugh before the first kiss… And I laughed when I saw my dog get hit by a car… But I felt bad about that.

Alton Road
South Beach, Florida

Overheard by: BARA

Posted on March 24, 2015
Animals, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Death, Default, Employees, Feelings, Florida, Retail, Weirdness

It's Worse Than When I Worked at the Daycare

Exasperated office girl: Nobody ever tells me anything that I can understand!

Alpharetta, Georgia

Posted on March 24, 2015
Employees, General Idiocy, Georgia, Gripes

When Bill Clinton Dreams

Employee in back room of shop: That chubby little boy who used to walk past my house every day is now a stripper!

Mount Vernon, Washington

Overheard by: HeatherC

Posted on March 24, 2015
Age and ageing, Employees, Physical Appearance, Washington, Weirdness

And Could You Describe to Me What She's Wearing?

20-something male cube dweller on phone: Hi, this is…hello? (pause) Oh, wow. No, sorry, I just heard your tone of voice and thought I should have been paying 4.99 for the call. (laughing) Is your mom home, or is she on her way here?

CRPC
Leeds
England

Overheard by: cubenerdery

Posted on March 23, 2015
Employees, England, Family, On the phone, Questions

Yeah, I Said It!

Middle-aged cube rat, surfing the internet: A dog has no business looking like a cow.

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: killmei'mbored

Posted on March 23, 2015
Animals, Canadia, Employees, Internet, Physical Appearance, Weirdness

Employees