With Enough White Out I Could End Racial Intolerance

Office supplies clerk: Where is all double sided tape going?
Office peon (to other peon): One more roll for my left foot and I can scale the building like Spiderman.

Downtown Orlando, Florida

Posted on January 4, 2015
Body Parts, Coworkers, Cubicles, Default, Florida, Pop culture, Questions

Or to the Statistically Inevitable Divorce Celebration

Cube dweller #1: For my wedding the colors were black and white. So I took my bridesmaids to the dress shop and told them to pick out whatever dress they wanted. They all ended up picking the same one.
Cube dweller #2: Well, that's nice.
Cube dweller #1: Of course they picked the most expensive dress, but I didn't have to pay for that part.
Cube dweller #2: And I bet it was a nice bridesmaid dress that they could wear again and again.
Cube dweller #3: Yeah, like to a funeral.

Tallahassee, Florida

Overheard by: eavesdropping cube dweller

Posted on December 28, 2014
Clothes, Colors, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Cubicles, Default, Florida, Money, Offers and requests

5PM That’s a Wrap

Tech on phone in next cube: How can I help you? … Uh huh. Well like it said in the doc, you have to name the files alphabetically for that to work. … Alphabetically means from A to Z. … No, sir, you can’t name one file code_abc and the next one code_aba, a is before c… Yes, abz would work. … Numbers come before letters. … You’re welcome. [hangs up phone] Fuck this shit, I can’t even smoke it. I’m going home!

800 S Canal Street
Chicago, Illinois

Posted on December 27, 2014
Cubicles, Customer Service, Dumb Customers, General Idiocy, Midwest, On the phone, Technology

But He’s Buying All the Missiles We Sell, So Who Cares?

Sales guy: He was from another country. A made-up country, though.

8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

Posted on November 28, 2014
Cubicles, Midsouth, North Carolina, Sales, United States

Which We'll Need to Discuss on Google Chat

Coworker to next cubicle: I'm sending you an e-mail.

Woburn, Massachusetts

Posted on November 12, 2014
Coworkers, Cubicles, Internet, Massachusetts, Weirdness

Let’s Just Say I’m Into Pain

Worker #1: I’m heading out of the office, have a great weekend!
Worker #2: No thank you, I’d rather not.

Niagara
Ontario
Canadia

Posted on October 27, 2014
Canadia, Coworkers, Cubicles, Default, Feelings, Weirdness, Wishes

Payback for All the Office Gynecological Conversations, Ladies

Fellow cube dweller (after violently blowing nose and looking into tissue): I don’t understand how when you’re sick, you just never run out of boogers.

Rosedale Towers
Roseville, Minnesota

Overheard by: booger-free

Posted on October 4, 2014
Coworkers, Cubicles, Default, Employees, Health & Hygiene, Minnesota, Questions

Much Like Workplace TMIs

Cube guy #1: Hey, I got that ointment you mentioned last night.
Cube guy #2: Oh yeah, did it go away?
Cube guy #1: Well, you know … It never really “goes away”.

Internet Company
Scottsdale, Arizona

Overheard by: Cube Guru

Posted on September 29, 2014
Advice, Arizona, Coworkers, Cubicles, Default, Employees, Health & Hygiene, Questions, Service, Words

I'd Answer It, but I'm Not Speaking to Myself

Person in cubicle: Is that your cell phone?
Person in next cubicle: No, it's my mouth.

Austin, Texas

Posted on September 21, 2014
Body Parts, Coworkers, Cubicles, General Idiocy, On the phone, Questions, Technology, Texas

Eventually the Boss Will Come Back from Vacation and Find Her in His Office

Lady screaming on cell in cubicle: And then I told him, “we are gonna go with that one!”
I know, it's like there's seven of us and we can't decide which nursing home to put mom in!

Chattanooga, Tennessee

Posted on September 6, 2014
Cubicles, Employees, Family, Health & Hygiene, On the phone, Tennessee

Cubicles