New office girl: Oh! You just had to go and print on the noisy tractor-feed printer. Now I can't hear my song!
(printer stops)
Old office girl #2: Is that…?
Old office girl #3: The Titanic Song?
Old office girl #2: Are you serious?
Old office girl #3: THIS is your song?
Charlotte, North Carolina
Female #1: Actually, me and my ex had a drink together a few weeks ago.
Female #2: I'm impressed at your ability to stay friends with your exes.
Female #1: No, he's the only one. That I dated. I'm friends with a lot of people that I've done…”business” with.
Female #2: I… I have to go.
Mississauga
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Creeped Out
Male legal assistant: Sean*, all we need is vaginas.
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: Confused Coworker
Attractive female employee: Hey Steve*, do you have something hard that I can suck on to keep me awake?
Steve*, after 15 second pause and in disbelief: Jane*, you really don't know how long I have been waiting for you to ask me that.
Attractive female employee, turning red: I meant did you have candy, like Jolly Ranchers or something.
San Luis Obisbo, California
Guy #1: Give me a break. I’ve been here since 6 AM!
Guy #2: Why would you do that to yourself?
Guy #1: Well, I’ve been a very bad boy, and I deserve a spanking. But that’s too expensive here in the city so instead I do this.
469 7th Avenue
New York, New York
Co-Worker, reading email: Can you believe this shit?! The nerve! “For those over 50, special healthcare benefits.” Over 50! How can they send me this shit and…Oh, there’s a free lunch. [Pause] Well, maybe I’ll go.
Trinity Place
New York, New York
Coworker, in hushed voice: You know, the thing about black men is that they have really nice asses. They really do.
National Institutes of Health
Bethesda, Maryland
Worker #1: Did you hear me? I just said I hit my knee on the window.
Worker #2: But there are no windows in your cubicle.
Worker #1: I know, I meant chair.
Worker #2: Hey [worker #3], did you hear [worker #1]? She said window but meant chair.
Worker #1: I also meant arm not knee.
Worker #2: Wait, so when you said, “I hit my knee on the window,” you really meant,”I hit my arm on the chair?”
Worker #1: Yeah.
Worker #2: You’re beautiful.
Rt 31, Illinois
Female coworker: All we ended up doing all weekend was watching porn and movies about jazz musicians.
Broad St & Cecil B. Moore Ave
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Coworker: I was settling in for a little infidelity, and instead I got rape! But it was good.
163 Freelon Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Eve S. Dropper
