Employees–Ticking Time Bombs, All of Them

(employee #1 coughs)
Employee #2: Beth*, are you okay?
(employee #1 coughs)
Employee #3: Ma, are you okay?
Employee #1: I’m fine.
Employee #3: Ma, what are you choking on?
Employee #1: My own spit.

Clearwater, Florida

Overheard by: file queen

Posted on July 22, 2008
Coworkers, Default, Employees, Florida, Health & Hygiene, Questions, Weirdness

See My Gang Signs Motivational Poster?

Very white supervisor: Are we keeping it gangster in here?
Annoying cubicle inhabitant: Oh yeah. We keep it real gangster.

Morris Plains, New Jersey

Overheard by: the intern in the next cubicle

Posted on July 22, 2008
Coworkers, Default, Employees, New Jersey, Office Politics, Questions, Words

How Else Can You Put Your Unmentionables On?

Associate, to coworker across the office: The question is, if you wouldn’t want to mention it, why would you want to touch it?

New York, New York

Posted on July 18, 2008
Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, New York, Questions

It Was Cheaper Than Buying a Playpen

Coworker and mother of a two and a five-year-old : Oh wait! I gotta go. I have to pick my kids up from the jail!

N Willamette Street
Coburg, Oregon

Overheard by: Glad her husband is a sheriff

Posted on July 16, 2008
Coworkers, Default, Family, Family members, Oregon, Time Management, Weirdness

Dude, You’re Taking The Imitation of Christ Too Far

(co-worker #1 limps to copy machine)
Co-worker #2: Dude, what’s the matter with you?
Co-worker #1: I’m all messed up. But I’ll survive… eventually.

Sidney Street
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Posted on July 14, 2008
Anger management, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, Feelings, Gripes, Massachusetts, Questions

And Only a Real Bastian Can Save Us

Office drone #1: Wow, look at the weather out the window!
Office drone #2: Oh my god, the nothing is coming!

Washington, DC

Overheard by: Neverending Story of Boredom

Posted on July 11, 2008
Coworkers, Default, Employees, Feelings, Threats, Washington DC, Weather, Words

Although Mink Mocha Is Also Lovely

Dentist receptionist #1: What kind of coffee would you like? We have hazelnut, french roast…
Dentist receptionist #2: I could have sworn you just said: “weasel nut”.
Dentist receptionist #1: That’s my favorite flavor.

Duluth, Minnesota

Overheard by: Just waiting

Posted on July 11, 2008
Coworkers, Default, Meals and Snacks, Medical, Minnesota, Offers and requests, Receptionists, Words

You Don’t See People Sodomizing Donuts in the Display Case

Skanky girl #1: I’m never wearing miniskirts again!
Skanky girl #2: Why is that?
Skanky girl #1: Well, every time I’m dancing in one, someone tries to sodomize me.
Skanky girl #2: Oh, I hate that–it’s so rude.

DMV
New York