Female sales rep #1: You know the one where you bend over and get it right in the spinal cord?
Female sales rep #2: Yeah, I know… kinda surprising.
Female sales rep #1: I'm all bent over and he's like “don't move, I don't wanna put it in the wrong spot!”
Delran, New Jersey
Overheard by: Bruce Banner
Cook: So I'm going to school to get my MBA.
Waitress: Oh, what's that? “Master's, Bachelor's, and Associate's”?
Fort Worth, Texas
Coworker: Well, if we get killed by the North Koreans before the weekend is out, I just want you to know that I've liked working with you.
Worcester, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Jr. Scientist
Sporty employee: I have a swim meet and I'm not ready for it.
Wiseguy employee: Why don't you swim home?
Sporty employee: I would never swim in this water.
Wiseguy employee: That's not the talk of a champion!
Manhattan, New York
Girl #1: I hate our supervisor and her stupid flicky long hair.
Girl #2: I just want to go up to her and just cut her hair off.
Guy: I just want to cut her throat.
Girl #1: I would love to do that, but it's illegal.
Guy: So would cutting her hair, unless you were her hairdresser.
Girl #2: I can just see it now?
Guy: When you go to court?
Girl: When I cut her hair, I was actually aiming for her throat, for this, your honor, I am…
Together: Extremely sorry.
Sydney
Australia
Coworker, preparing to go to cemetery: I need a go-to funeral dress.
Dallas, Texas
Coworker on phone: My cell phone stopped working, it fell into the soup I had for lunch. What should I do?
Seattle, Washington
Coworker, troubleshooting on phone: Were you able to get that in? (pause) Yeah, it's kind of in the right spot. (pause) Well, don't be afraid to push harder.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: mason
Older female coworker to younger female coworker: That's the trouble with eating an apple at your desk, the juice runs down your chin and everywhere.
Tempe, Arizona
Overheard by: James
