I Finally Had to Pretend to Be Dead

Technician #1 to technician #2: When the boss asked me where I was at on the calibration I just thought to myself: “If I stand here very quiet and don’t respond maybe he’ll forget he asked me”.

Avionics Shop, Washington

Posted on February 8, 2015
Coworkers, Default, Office Politics, Questions, Retail, Tech People, Time Management, Washington

Oompa-Loompas Kept Hitting on Me

Female coworker: I used to spray tan, but they make you orange and then you smell like Chinese food.
Male coworker: Good Chinese food or bad Chinese food?
Female coworker: Not the good kind. And then it gets all dark in the creases, and you get jaundiced knees…
Male coworker: Just what every man wants…the munchies and a sickly white woman.
Female coworker: I wanted to look Italian.
Male coworker: But instead you wound up with jaundice, smelling like Chinese food.

Plaza VII
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: Hungry now

Posted on February 8, 2015
Body Parts, Colors, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Health & Hygiene, Meals and Snacks, Minnesota, Physical Appearance

At Camp Marion Barry

Military personnel: Adam* looks like hell this morning — like he was smoking crack all night. Adam, you are a civilian, right?
Adam: Yes.
Military personnel: Ah, then it’s alright. You don’t get drug-tested like us. Smoke all the crack you want.

Washington, DC

Posted on February 7, 2015
Coworkers, Government, Questions, Substance Use & Abuse, Washington DC

9AM Back to Work

Worker #1: How was your weekend?
Worker #2: Good. I almost got married; the usual.

393 Broadway
New York, NY

Overheard by: Jess McGins

Posted on February 7, 2015
Coworkers, Gossip, New York, Questions, Relationships

I Use It to Drive Nelson Mandela Around

Hungarian coworker with heavy accent on phone with auto repair shop: I drive a 2007 black Foreigner. (pause) Yes, Foreigner, Foreigner -like the Toyota.

Broomfield, Colorado

Posted on February 7, 2015
Colorado, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, Words

I Just Called That Guy a “Ma'am”!

CSR on phone with customer: Yes, ma'am, I should be able to put you down to service your area tomorrow. Okay, thank you. (hangs up)
CSR to office: Did I just say what I think I said?

Nashville, Tennessee

Posted on February 7, 2015
Body Parts, Coworkers, Customer Service, Customers, On the phone, Questions, Sexuality, Tennessee

Talking to You Is Better Than Smoking Weed!

Female coworker #1: If he is 5’6″ and I am 5’7″ then without heels we would be the same height.
Female coworker #2: Are you 5’7″ with heels?
Female coworker #1: No.

Framingham, Massachusetts