Female coworker, as another is delivered flowers: Every time I see the flower delivery guy I hope it’s for me. I wish someone would send me something nice like that. Oh, well. I’ll just take a piece of chocolate from the candy dish.
Male coworker: That’s right, decrease your chances even further.
Route 110
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Drone
Female employee: What the hell is she fussing at? He’s only two years older than her. If he’s old, she’s old!
Office manager: She’s just trying to ruffle your feathers.
Sales guy: You should tell her your husband can beat up her husband.
Assistant: Which one? She’s got a couple.
Female employee: Hey!
Sales guy: Haha, I forgot she’s got like three husbands now.
Female employee: I hate you guys.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Coworker on phone: Now, there's some guys that can really pitch washers. Don't shit yourself.
Point Comfort, Texas
Overheard by: Did I really just hear that?
Mailroom worker: I know she in there ’cause I can smell her. Sweet and savory.
10 East 53rd Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: Pookiepie
Giggling girl in cubicle #1: Why can't I make it bigger?
Giggling girl in cubicle #2: This is so uncomfortable.
Giggling girl in cubicle #1: It gets better and better as it goes on.
Austin, Texas
Peon #1: I bought my son a small hamster when he was about seven or eight. We didn't know it at the time, but the hamster was pregnant with a litter of nine. After she had given birth to her pups, we noticed that she started biting their little heads off. My son was very upset because of this, and so was I. I looked it up online and I ended up reading somewhere that hamster moms don't behead their young after their eyes have opened, and we had one hamster left, and its eyes had opened. We figured everything would be fine, but when I came home from work the next day we saw that she killed that one as well. My son was bawling his eyes out that evening.
Peon #2: That's terrible. What ended up happening?
Peon #1: I put her in a coffee canister and took her out to the woods… and I threw her in a snake pit. I'm not sure if she made it out.
Hampton, Virginia
Old office lady #1: I found out what “buggery” means.
Old office lady #2: What?
Old office lady #1: It means “sodomy.” It must be an older word for it.
Worcester, Massachusetts
Overheard by: PS
Co-worker #1: Ah, beat me to it!
Co-worker #2: Yeah, it’s the little victories that get you through the day.
Co-worker #3: …Yeah, that or drugs.
375 Hudson Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: Paul Lamb
Aussie: Is Motown a black state?
American: Uh, actually Motown is a nickname for Detroit, and a record label.
Aussie: Is Detroit a black state?
American: No, it’s a city.
Aussie: Is Tennessee a black state?
American: Whaaa… there’s no such thing as a black state.
Aussie: There isn’t?
Reservoir Street
Sydney, Australia
Overheard by: Yank Down Under
