Worker #1: Did you hear me? I just said I hit my knee on the window.
Worker #2: But there are no windows in your cubicle.
Worker #1: I know, I meant chair.
Worker #2: Hey [worker #3], did you hear [worker #1]? She said window but meant chair.
Worker #1: I also meant arm not knee.
Worker #2: Wait, so when you said, “I hit my knee on the window,” you really meant,”I hit my arm on the chair?”
Worker #1: Yeah.
Worker #2: You’re beautiful.
Rt 31, Illinois
Admin: We’re going to miss you around here.
Employee: Well, I’d like to say that I’ll miss being around here, but that would be untrue, so I’m not going to say it.
6111 Oak Tree Boulevard
Independence, Ohio
Lady cube rat: I like sucking bones.
Male cube rat: I know! I said, ‘Come on, Chris, suck that bone!’ We all laughed.
Lady cube rat: The marrow is the best part.
1771 North Street NW
Washington, DC
Overheard by: I still don’t want to know
HR: Okay [Jen], here is your six month review. You are doing excellent work, we couldn’t be happier, you adapt especially well to change and keep this office running like a tight ship. We have put you in for a substantial raise.
VP: We have come to the decision that we will be closing this office. Everyone’s last day of work will be December 31st–
HR: –and here are your severance packages.
238 Bedford Street
Lexington, Massachusetts
Girl #1: I should be a professional killer
Girl #2: What are you talking about?
Girl #1: Well, I was really good in riflery in camp. I hate people. And I love wearing black.
40 West 57th Street
New York, New York
Coworker: I just love paying bills online — it is just so easy.
Blonde coworker: I know, it’s so great.
Coworker: The computer has really made things efficient.
Blonde coworker: I know — it is, like, sooo Antarctic to pay your bills by check nowadays.
30th floor, 55 East 52nd Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Greg Case
Male employee: Can I clock out?
Male manager: Sure, go ahead. And thanks for bringing sexy back today.
Exposition Boulevard
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: Made me wish I worked at Costco
Co-worker: I like it so much I say forget about the back end, let’s do everything front end.
150 South 5th Street
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Colleen Cauley
Engineer: Nasty letters always work!
315 Park Avenue South
New York, New York
Overheard by: Priscilla Perez
Receptionist: Ooh! I like your boots!
Teaching assistant: Thanks! I actually have legs now!
Receptionist: You have great legs!
Passing teacher: She's never had legs before.
Bexhill College
England
