Employee: I would really like to apologize for running late this morning. It won’t happen again.
Boss: Could you please turn your shirt right-side out?
350 Park Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Susan
Employee: I would really like to apologize for running late this morning. It won’t happen again.
Boss: Could you please turn your shirt right-side out?
350 Park Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Susan
80-something man: Could you stop writing so hard? You're shaking the table.
60-something man: I can try, but I don't know what you expect me to do.
80-something man: I expect you to do more than try.
60-something man: Well, I expect you to stop making so much noise and talking to yourself!
80-something man: I can talk to myself if I want to!
60-something man: Well, I want you to shut the fuck up! Just shut the fuck up!
Orinda Public Library
Orinda, California
Cube rat girl: You’ve really contributed to my progress as a human being. Like, I’ve learned all these new terms from you. Like ‘owned,’ and ‘oh, word?’ And ‘meh’!
Cube rat guy: See? So what would your life be like without me?
Cube rat girl: Well, I think pretty much the same, but with a few less words.
350 Madison Avenue
New York, New York
Parts store clerk #1 to parts store clerk #2: I don't know about taking this test. These words they use, I don't know where they get these words from. Maybe it's just me, cause I'm from the South.
Customer, chuckling: Them can't be real words, can they?
Parts clerk #1: No.
Parts clerk #2: You're just way too country to take that test.
Decatur, Tennessee
Big fat receptionist: Ooh what is that?
Office worker #1: A caramel mochiatto from Starbucks.
Big fat receptionist: I hope you brought me one!
Office worker #2: Do you have any idea how many calories are in one of those?
200 Park Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: Sebastian O’Conner
Worker #1: You have to move your car. You can't just park wherever you want. What do you think, that you're the queen bee?
Worker #2: No, that's you.
Worker #1: Right. Now that we got that straight, move your goddamn car!
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Help me
Male coworker: Why don't you get some prescription sunglasses?
Female coworker: Fuck that! Those are like hundreds of dollars, and that's money I could be spending on food and marijuana!
Atlanta, Georgia
Female customer to male clerk wearing “Smith College” shirt: Did you go to Smith College?
Male clerk, in completely deadpan tone: Yes, I've got a vagina and I went to Smith College.
Fairfield, Connecticut
Overheard by: Fred
QA: That enhancement doesn’t work, you need to fix it.
Dev: I guess it won’t be in the patch, then.
QA: I didn’t spend all that time testing and documenting it, we need to release it.
Dev: I’m not going to fix it now.
QA: You just said it was going to be in the patch, now you are saying it’s not going to be fixed in this patch but it is in the patch.
Dev: Your Jedi mind tricks will not work on me.
16388 Westwoods Business Park
Ellisville, Missouri
Overheard by: Marc Brooks
