Male coworker: It's one o'clock already? Man, this day is flying by so fast!
Female coworker: It's dragging for me.
Male coworker: Last time I looked at the clock it was only 11 am. Man, where did the time go?
Female coworker: That's because you're old and you keep falling asleep and waking up an hour later!
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Overheard by: Janet
Manager: You hear her? Usually, she says, “I’m coming”, and I say “So is Christmas.” But now I guess I could say, “So is”, uh, “the Fourth of July.”
11400 West Olympic Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: lonecomic
Female coworker: I think I’m going to go home. I’m not feeling well.
Gay coworker: I hope it’s not contagious.
Female coworker: No. It’s… woman problems. I don’t think you’ll get infected.
Gay coworker: You’d be surprised.
14th Street and Rhode Island Avenue
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Suprised
Co-worker: I was trying to fix the report, but it is unedible.
Boss: It doesn’t taste good?
222 Severn Avenue
Annapolis, Maryland
Overheard by: Tits McGee
Salesman: What you need to do is sashay out there and tell him like it is.
Boss: First of all, bro, I do not sashay.
State Street
Beaver, Pennsylvania
Manager #1: Back in the 90s I wanted to be in a Salt ‘n Pepa video. I was in shape back then. You could bounce a quarter off my ass.
Manager #2: Was that a quarter or a quarter pounder with cheese?
4235 South Stream Boulevard
Charlotte, North Carolina
Overheard by: Sanman
Supervisor: Trust me. I’ll take care of it.
Employee: The last time I heard that line I ended up pregnant.
631 Dickinson Avenue
Greenville, North Carolina
Copywriter, after noticing web designer refreshing makeup: Wow. Look at you. Got a hot date?
Web designer: No. I'm meeting people. And I've never met them in person before.
Snarky PR specialist: And you don't want them to know right away that you're a horrible person?
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Looks like Diva
Cashier: Alright, so that’s going to be $47.68.
Customer: What? The book was $31.99!
Cashier: Ummm, actually, it was $44.99…
Customer: It says $31.99!
Cashier: I’m afraid you were looking at the American price, ma’am…
Customer: So?!
Cashier: We’re in Canada.
Customer, indignant: Well, I want to speak to a manager!
Cashier: Unfortunately, I don’t think he’ll be able to change global economy, but let me page him…
Ontario
Canadia
