Complaining sales girl: I'm freezing!
Jaded sales girl: No, you're not, it's an illusion. They paint the walls a color that fools your brain into thinking it's cold.
Complaining sales girl: Really?
Jaded sales girl: No, not really. Now go put on a damn sweater and quit complaining to me!
Shop
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: sasha
Belle to coworker, about calling building management: There's a big brown wet spot at my desk, and Mikey put his finger in it.
Detroit, Michigan
Sales rep to manager: Your shirt is a very weird green. It reminds me of green tea.
Manager: Do you want to eat me?
Sales rep (staring silently): Uh no.
Oregon
Overheard by: I love green tea
Peon: What colors do we use for the Fourth of July?
Briarcrest & 29th
Bryan, Texas
Male coworker #1: I don't care how much of a bitch she is, her tits are unbelievable.
Male coworker #2: Shit, did you see that red thing she was wearing yesterday? I had to jerk off in the bathroom during lunch.
Female coworker they're talking about: You guys are aware that I can hear you, right?
Male coworker #1: In our own defense, we weren't aware of that.
Chelmsford, Massachusetts
Overheard by:
IT guy to IT manager: Nice shoes, are they new?
IT manager: Yeah, but they’re too clean and white. They need to be scuffed up more.
IT guy: You know what they should do? They should make the seven-year old Taiwanese kids who sew these wear them for a few days first.
IT manager: Yeah, that’s perfect. Pre-scuffed shoes. They’d be flopping around in shoes way too big, but at least they’d have shoes for a few days.
Good Hope Road
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Ghetto coworker: My son loves his car, he says he wants to get buried in it. I tell him he’s crazy, but it is a really nice car. It’s an Oldsmobuick* convertible, cocaine white…
Not-so-ghetto coworker: Cocaine white?
Ghetto coworker: Yeah, you know that really pearly white color?
Not-so-ghetto coworker, sarcastically: Does it have meth-yellow trim?
Ghetto coworker, oblivious: No, just white. But I tell him he’s crazy, it would never work. When they put in the dirt it would cave in the roof!
Modesto, California
Overheard by: That’s not my job.
Office worker: So then he launches into this big spiel about how black dogs taste better than white dogs.
Santa Monica Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: matt
Worker bee #1: Hey, did you notice Claire* doesn’t wear that green suit thing anymore?
Worker bee #2: No, I think she realized people were calling her Shrek.
Worker bee #1: [after a pause.] yeah… Yeah I can see that actually.
Civic Drive
Greensborough
Australia
Overheard by: it’s so true
