Newbie: So Diane* is the one with dirty blonde hair?
Seasoned worker: I don't think they like the term “dirty.”
Newbie: Oh yeah, my girlfriend kinda likes being called “dirty.”
Seasoned worker: I meant the hair color.
Newbie: I know!
Inverness Work Plex
Denver, Colorado
Office bimbette #1: So, I bought a new car last night and I didn't need a guy to help me pick it out or make the deal or anything.
Office bimbette #2: For reals? What kind did of car did you get?
Office bimbette #1: A blue one.
California Street
San Francisco, California
Female coworker #1: So I bought this Tupperware to help wildlife. It comes in different colors and designs. This one has dolphins, and one of the others has monkeys on it.
Female coworker #2, mockingly: You are so fucking queer.
Female coworker #1, shouting: I'll show you fucking queer!
Iowa City, Iowa
Overheard by: Shocked & Awed
Female employee, from her cube: Did you get use of Mr. Purple today?
Marlborough, Massachusetts
Account manager: That's like the pot calling the kettle black. Wait a minute… Is that racist?
Assistant: Wanna know what is racist? Cotton picking!
Winnipeg
Manitoba
Canadia
Overheard by: Chelsea
Loud-talking painter, not realizing he's being heard: I don't know, Paul, I wouldn't mind spanking that redhead.
Painter friend: What color would we have to paint her office to get her to do that?
(long pause)
Loud-talking painter: Green?
Loserville, Kentucky
Office manger: I've got a blue hand, I've been playing in the salt.
Coworker #1: I've got a black hand, I was playing in dirt.
Coworker #2: I've got a brown hand…
Beckley, West Virginia
Overheard by: da cook
Assistant manager: So, you went with the monochromatic look today, huh?
CSR: Nah, man, this is olive.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Steph
Factory worker: It’s great, you know. I can go to my doctor and say stuff like: “This stuff is green, and it’s making me sick.”
Kelso Drive
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Anonymous Temp
Paralegal: What color is mozzarella?
Office manager: White, why?
Paralegal: Ummm…I'm going to need an extra bag, I am cleaning the fridge and that bag of mozzarella is like dark brown and green, and I don't mean spots…
Office manager: Uh-uh, here. (hands over bag) I hope it doesn't start moving.
(paralegal laughs and heads toward kitchen)
Paralegal (one minute later): Hey, what color is kiwi suppose to be?
Miami, Florida
Overheard by: joey
