Coworker: I'm an engineer that went over to the green side.
US Army Corps of Engineers
Washington, DC
Coworker: I'm an engineer that went over to the green side.
US Army Corps of Engineers
Washington, DC
White female applicant taking computer test: Wait. My screen just went all Stevie Wonder.
Manager: Stevie Wonder?
Female applicant: You know… All black.
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: Seriously?
Worker bee #1: If only the sheets weren't green…
Counselor: Maybe blue sheets?
Worker bee #2: What's wrong with green? They've been green sheets for years! You could leave tomorrow and we'd be stuck with pink sheets!
Worker bee #1: No, I don't like pink, they wouldn't be pink. Also, where am I going?
Worker bee #2: I don't know!
(pause)
Worker bee #1: Maybe something sassy…
Counselor: Well, I'm feeling lightheaded now.
Greensboro, North Carolina
Overheard by: student worker
Boss on phone: We had them over a barrel, and now they want to test the waters and see if it's greener on the other side.
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Customer: Do you have any balls?
Golf pro: What kind of balls are you looking for?
Customer: Colored ones. My wife loves colored balls!
Charleston, South Carolina
Coworker: Yeah, so long as it's pink I don't care if it's bloody. Wait a sec…
Texas
Overheard by: Janie
Employee at Christian book store: Hi there, can I help you find something?
Customer: I'm looking for a book.
Employee: Alright, what's the title?
Customer: I don't know. It's a book about… uhm, Jesus.
Employee: Okay. I think you're going to have to be a little more specific, since we have a lot of books on that subject.
Customer: It has a green cover.
Gainesville, Florida
Manager to worker: Did you get some sun this weekend?
Worker, sheepishly: Yeah.
Manager with gusto: Man, you're redder than a dick on a dog!
Southlake, Texas
Attorney: It's not so cold out.
Secretary: Is that why your nose is bright red?
Attorney: No, that's because I've been drinking.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: amused intern
Worker: So last night I got the '08 Altima I was telling you about. It's got the continuously variable transmission, so when you accelerate it doesn't have to downshift for power.
Coworker: Cool! What color is it?
Worker: Black on black.
Coworker: Just like inner city crime!
Omaha, Nebraska
