Marketing Manager: Hey, so welcome back! First day at work with your new boobs, huh?
Writer: No, it would appear the same old ones still work here.
16340 North Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, Arizona
Marketing Manager: Hey, so welcome back! First day at work with your new boobs, huh?
Writer: No, it would appear the same old ones still work here.
16340 North Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, Arizona
Co-worker: Can you notarize something for me?
Accounting supervisor: Got any money?
Co-worker: Nope.
Accounting worker-bee: Then you must take off your pants, get on the empty chair and dance for us.
Co-worker: Really?
Entire accounting department: Really.
Co-worker: Are tightie whities okay?
2200 Broening Highway
Baltimore, Maryland
IT manager: How can I be wrong when I don't know what I'm talking about?
College Campus
Huntsville, Texas
Overheard by: Knows what she's talking about
Boss on phone: So my friend said, “I found myself sobbing at my desk at 1 am on a Saturday” and I told her, “welcome to the non-profit sector!” (breaks down into uncontrollable laughter)
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: widget
Boss: What time did this get here this morning?
Employee: Jesus!
Boss: Uh… What time is the exterminator going to be here tonight, and are you staying?
Employee: Jesus!
Boss: Why are you answering all my questions with “Jesus”?
Employee: A woman on the train this morning was holding a sign that said “Jesus is the only answer.” I thought I'd try to prove that. From your response, I'm assuming that isn't true.
Manhattan, New York
Boss: It’s like birth — there’s nothing we can do but push.
Sunnyvale, California
Overheard by: Tristan O’Tierney
Young admin, talking about boyfriend who just moved: Yeah, but I'm really good with long distance relationships.
Manger: So you say, but haven't you cheated on all your exes so far?
Young admin: Um, yeah…technically.
Manger: So basically you just always find someone to fill the hole when they're gone. Shit! I mean void…I *so* didn't mean it like that!
Santa Maria, California
Tenant: You know, it has been so nice outside, I wish we had windows that would open.
Building manager: Yeah, me too, but if we did, everyone would be jumping out of them to kill themselves.
270 Park Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: JB
CEO, to no one in particular: So we're talking to this fucking prick up in Alaska, and I keep hearing this whistling. So I say “hey man, what the fuck is that noise? Turns out it's his fucking parrot, so I tell him to kill the fucker. Who has parrots?
Portland, Oregon
Co-worker: Ugh…
Manager: What’s the matter?
Co-worker: Nothing, I just couldn’t see the screen.
Manager: Oh. Was everything flesh colored and blurry? That’s from putting your hand in front of your face.
1390 Timberlake Manor Parkway
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Durp
