Knuckles…Dragging…Can't Go On

Office drone: I feel like an ape… my thumbs don't oppose anymore.

Richmond, Virginia

Overheard by: usual suspect

Posted on July 16, 2015
Animals, Body Parts, Employees, Feelings, General Idiocy

Sometimes Customer Service Is Difficult to Stomach

Sales clerk on phone: So the reason I lost the baby was because he punched me in the stomach. Yes, girl! The police don't just investigate innocent people like that. (looks at coming customer) I'll call you back. (slams phone) Can I help you?

Tallahassee, Florida

Overheard by: AP

Posted on July 14, 2015
Body Parts, Crimes, Customers, Florida, Health & Hygiene, On the phone, Sales, Violence

Next You’ll Tell Me a Sweaty Butt Doesn’t Mean Six More Weeks of Winter

Female clerk: My nipples itch… Someone must be thinking about me.
Male doctor: What?!?
Female clerk: Isn’t that what they say? When your nipples itch someone is thinking about you?
Male doctor: Nooooooo…

Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Who-la-hey

Posted on July 13, 2015
Body Parts, Doctors, Dumb Employees, Georgia, Patients, Places, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Sexuality

Until She Went “Peekaboo!”

Office girl #1: She couldn’t find my cervix. My cervix!
Office girl #2: You do know everyone can hear you, right?
Office girl #1: No, no, wait — she found it, she just couldn’t see it!

43rd Street and 6th Avenue
New York, New York

Posted on July 13, 2015
Body Parts, Coworkers, New York

Have You Gone Down to Accounting and Checked Stacey's Mouth?

VP: Has anyone seen my teabags?
Receptionist: Where did you last put them?
VP: On the kitchen counter.
Receptionist: You put your teabags on the counter? Did anyone see you?
VP: No, no one else was there.
Receptionist: Are they jumbo-sized teabags?
VP: No, they're regular size, and I've looked everywhere!

Vienna, Virginia

Overheard by: Office drone

Posted on July 12, 2015
Body Parts, Bosses, Meals and Snacks, Questions, Receptionists, Virginia, Words

If Maxim Had Horoscopes

Boss to employee: After you pound four beers your balls always end up in the gutter.

San Francisco, California

Posted on July 12, 2015
Body Parts, Bosses and Underlings, California, Drinking

How Does a Conversation at Work Begin “You Have a Cute Belly Button”?

Employee #1: You have a cute belly button.
Employee #2: Yeah, I know, but there's stuff in it. I am going to dig it out with a paper clip.
Employee #1: Ill.
Employee #2: Look at it!
Employee #1: Gross! Does it smell?

Lancaster, California

Posted on July 10, 2015
Body Parts, California, Compliments, Coworkers, Health & Hygiene, Sensory Experiences

Well, Thanks for the Educational Slideshow, Regardless.

Female employee, in front of doorway: Why are some really big and others small?
Male employee: Dunno, seems like it was meant to be.

United Way
South Florida

Posted on July 10, 2015
Body Parts, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Florida, General Idiocy

I Was Like, “Bark Now, Bitch!”

Lady in break room: I had the strangest dream last night. I dreamed I had gone out to my backyard, dug up my dog and took off its head and put it on my mantle.

Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: Rob

Posted on July 10, 2015
Animals, Body Parts, Clothes, Employees, Texas, Weirdness

When I Shake It Too Hard, It Just Explodes Like That

IT guy: Your laptop is not booting up because you have a stuck function key. What happened, anyway?
Rep (refusing to make eye contact): Yeah, I … uhhh, think I dropped something on it.
It guy: Like what?!
Rep: Ummm yeah, well, like my fist.

Fern Valley Road
Louisville, Kentucky

Posted on July 8, 2015
Anger management, Body Parts, Coworkers, Default, Kentucky, Questions, Tech People, Technology

Body Parts