Factory worker, checking the weather: It's raining watermelons and crack babies out there.
Blue Ash, Ohio
Overheard by: overtime on the line
Factory worker, checking the weather: It's raining watermelons and crack babies out there.
Blue Ash, Ohio
Overheard by: overtime on the line
Hardhat #1: Don’t worry. You will do something wrong that will make her mad, sooner or later.
Hardhat #2: Impossible. I don’t do wrong shit everyday!
Construction site
Austell, Georgia
Peon #1, reading spam title out loud: “…all wet and pink…”
Peon #2: Are they talking about a flamingo?
Palmer Street
Missoula, Montana
Peon #1: But you don’t drink that coffee.
Peon #2: I just want something down my throat.
Peon #1: Oh, you shouldn’t say that.
Peon #2: I mean I just want something warm down my throat.
Peon #1: You shouldn’t say that either.
Stevens Creek Boulevard
Cupertino, California
Flight attendant to delayed travelers: Last call for Winnipeg… We still have plenty of seats available. I know there are a lot of canceled flights today. Have you ever considered a trip to Canada?
O’Hare International Airport
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Considered it.
Suit ordering drink: Um, I just really want something that’s going to fuck me up.
Exasperated waitress: Honestly, I’m going to fuck you up in a second if you don’t order.
13th and U Streets
Washington, DC
Cafeteria employee: What is the name of that guy who wrote The Pelican Brief? He wrote, like, eight books about the law.
Law student: Ummm… Dean Koontz…?
Cafeteria employee: Good one, man! This guy is smart!
600 New Jersey Avenue NW
Washington, DC
Nurse: We need you to be here for the duration of your brother’s procedure. He should be done in 15 minutes or so.
20-something mechanic: Do I need to be here? [Points at floor.] Or here? [Points at room.] Because that is one flashlight I don’t wanna hold!
Proctologist’s office
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: but he’s taken a shine to you!
