On Quiet Nights, You Can Hear the Moths Scream

Marketing drone: There is an island near New Guinea where all the animals are small. There is a pygmy puma that survives on moths.
(silence from marketing room)
Marketing drone: Moths!

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Sumi

Posted on February 2, 2011
Animals, Employees, Geography & History, Illinois, Lies, Weirdness

…Or I'll Be As Upset As a Banshee.

Office lady #1: It's so hot in here, I'm sweating like a banshee.
Office lady #2: Banshees scream or screech. You mean you're sweating like a pig.
Office lady #1: Don't call me a pig!

Worcester, Massachusetts

Posted on January 27, 2011
Animals, Compare and contrast, Employees, Insults, Massachusetts, Sensory Experiences

Best. Parent. Ever.

Coworker on phone: Are you sitting down? Okay… I need you to understand you do not feed dog food to your sister. What you did was not okay. Your punishment is no iPod, no computer, no television, you are grounded to your room. You love to write, right? Well, I want you to go to your room and write a story of two sisters who love each other, but one sister was mean and tricked her sister into eating dog food. This sister must apologize to her sister that she tricked, and to mom and dad. You will read this story aloud.

Silicon Valley
California

Posted on January 20, 2011
Animals, Coworkers, General Idiocy, Meals and Snacks, On the phone, Relationships, Weirdness

The Question Is How, Not Why

Intern: Why would he take a picture of an orange chicken?
Associate: That's his prostate.
Intern: Oh. That makes sense.

Beverly Hills, California

Posted on January 19, 2011
Animals, Body Parts, California, Interns & Temps, Questions, Weirdness

But Nothing's Cuter Than a Little Bitch

White female coworker #1: My friend's pregnant. She hopes it's a black baby or a dog. They're both cute.
White female coworker #2: Yeah, black babies are cuter…

City Hall
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: betsyvonawesome

Posted on December 29, 2010
Animals, Dumb Employees, Family, Pennsylvania, Wishes

…It's an Art

VP of development in grant meeting: Shooting the bird is not a process.

Cedar Street
Austin, Texas

Posted on December 23, 2010
Accidents, Animals, Bosses, Office Politics, Texas

This Conversation Is Ova.

Patient: Are there are any restrictions to take after having my injections?
Nurse: Do not eat beef.
Patient: What about eggs?
Nurse: Eggs are okay.
Patient: But eggs are from cows…

Beverly Hills, California