Co-worker: Noon it is. I’m driving. But I have no room for dolphins in my car. Well…I have the room, but I didn’t get the tank option.
1301 E. Algonquin Road
Schaumburg, Illinois
Co-worker: Noon it is. I’m driving. But I have no room for dolphins in my car. Well…I have the room, but I didn’t get the tank option.
1301 E. Algonquin Road
Schaumburg, Illinois
Co-worker: That new guy is really dumb.
Speakerphone: Well it is fun watching him.
Co-worker: It’s like watching a cat shoveling shit with two broken paws.
8400 36th Street
Miami, Florida
Co-worker: And I am not exaggerating, but my dog literally chewed my brush up into 75 million pieces.
6600 Campus Circle Drive E
Irving, Texas
Woman #1: So I went to Filene’s Basement last night, and I was–literally–raped, I spent so much money, got a bunch of stuff.
Woman #2: Ooh, what did you get?
24 North Street
Pittsfield, Massachusetts
Coworker #1, seeing coworker #2 bring a plate of food: Don't expect this all the time. By the way, thanks for breakfast this morning.
Coworker #2: See? It's quid faux crow!
Coworker #1: Umm… No. It's not.
Leawood, Kansas
Overheard by: The Grammar Nazi
Cube #1: Uh, what's shingles?
Cube #2: It's like chicken pox.
Cube #3: Thank god I got chicken pox as a kid! I don't want no shingles!
Washington, DC
Dental hygienist to patient in nearby room: You should stop taking your dog's medicine. The dog might need it someday.
Manhattan, New York
Peon #1, about SpongeBob: No, the lobster's name is Larry.
Peon #2: I thought the lobster's name was Mr Crabby?
Peon #1: That would be the crab.
Peon #2: Ohhhh, I right, I can see that.
Northridge, California
Coworker #1: There are bugs living in my computer screen. I can see them move when I type.
Coworker #2: You should vacuum them out.
Coworker #3: No! Keep them! I find them extremely interesting.
Coworker #1, pensive: Maybe, if I click them really really hard, they'll go away.
K.U.Leuven
Belgium
Counselor: I'm sure he's a nice kid, but he looks like a beaver.
Decorah, Iowa
Overheard by: skm
