Director: My weekend sucked… How was yours?
Minion: Great! I woke up Saturday morning with peanut butter on my face. Still can't figure that one out.
Boss, laughing: Did you have patches of hair missing too? I've heard that's bad.
Minion: No, that was my dog.
Lenexa, Kansas
Overheard by: I don't want to work with here anymore
Male worker to supervisor complaining about noise: Oh, I'm sorry. Are we interrupting the interesting conversation about your cancer dog?
Norristown, Pennsylvania
Boss, reading e-mail out loud: “Middle cube's a bunch of sheep-shaggers”? Minus Jane*, of course! (laughs)
Coworker: Why? She could get a strap on…
Beverly, Massachusetts
Normal coworker: Jackie* is in Vegas, isn't she?
Less normal coworker: Yeah.
Normal coworker: I wonder how hot it is there?
Less normal coworker: Probably about 107 degrees.
Normal coworker: I don't think I could handle that kind of heat. I would have to stay inside the whole time.
Less normal coworker: Nah, you just sit out under the flamingos and let them pee water on ya. Keeps ya cool.
Ypsilanti, Michigan
Overheard by: Cube Dweller
Pod dweller #1: You ever had Indian food?
Pod dweller #2: Indian food? What's that?
Pod dweller #1: You know. Curry and stuff like that.
Pod dweller #2: Curry? That stuff that cows eat?
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: matty b
Boss: What should we call it? Try thinking animal names.
Employee #1: What about “Kumquat”?
Employee #2: A kumquat isn’t an animal.
Boss: I like your thinking though.
45 Main Street
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Safety Manager: Uncooked chicken is just…foul!
5409 N. Florida Avenue
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Julia
Super-rich boss’s wife: So you know how we always call my husband God?
Employees at luncheon: [Puzzled silence]
Super-rich boss’s wife: Seriously, you know how we call him God?
Employees at luncheon: [Silence]
Super-rich boss’s wife: Well, I bought him a horse! And we’re going to call it Jesus! Isn’t that hilarious?
2725 Henry Street
Augusta, Georgia
