Male: No, I'm sure it said “buffalo mozzarella.”
Female #1: Well, I know mozzarella is made from cow's milk.
Male: Maybe it's from Buffalo, NY.
Female #1: Is that where mozzarella is from?
Male: Maybe.
Female #2: Is goat cheese made from goats?
Waitress: No, usually from the milk.
Seattle, Washington
Client: Sorry I didn't call you yesterday, I had to chase my 25-pound dog for 40 blocks.
Sales rep: Oh yeah? What kind of dog?
Client: Apparently a Mexican one, if he can't understand when I tell him to stop.
Sales rep: That just means he pretends not to speak English so he doesn't have to listen to you.
Charlotte, North Carolina
Overheard by: Clarissa StTacocrotch
14-year-old girl to another: I bet you would get drop-kicked in the head if you tried to put eyeliner on a dog.
Lansing, Michigan
Cubicle #1: Oh no, today is Tuesday the 13th! Does that mean anything?
Cubicle #2: Umm… Today is the 12th. Tomorrow is the 13th. And humpday!
Cubicle #1: Oh no! Wednesday the 13th! Does that mean anything?
Cubicle #2: Well, it’s the day before Valentine’s Day. You got your wife something already, right?
Cubicle #1: Dang! I better think of something quick, right?
Cubicle #2: You haven’t gotten a card or anything?
Cubicle #1: Well, I did actually get her a gift. But I opened up my trunk yesterday and it smelled funny so I took it back.
Cubicle #2: … It wasn’t a puppy, was it?
England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
EVP at copier, yawning: Ohhhhh… Monkey. (walks away)
Marlborough, Massachusetts
Admin on phone: …and the baby smelled like fried chicken!
Grand Rapids, Michigan
CFO, looking for chocolate: It looks like a goddess with flaming hair or an upside-down horse.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Natalie
Grad student: A few months ago she said it was national bring-your-bunny-to-work day– which I'm pretty sure she made up…so when I walked by her cube she had the bunny in a makeshift fort between her purse and some binders. And the next time I walked by, eight members of the senior staff were sitting in a circle on the floor playing with the bunny in the middle.
Arlington, Virginia
Overheard by: Intern
Coworker: Hey dude, that's how I'm going to make my money. Cat exercise equipment.
Marshfield, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Mikaela
