Peon: Don't get stoned with two birds in one throw. (pause) Wait…
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Peon: Don't get stoned with two birds in one throw. (pause) Wait…
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Boss: Have triplets at once, get it over and done with.
Accountant: I'll have my kids one at a time, thanks.
Wellington
New Zealand
Guest to another, leaving hotel: Just keep popping off like that, and you too can be divorced!
Okmulgee, Oklahoma
Coworker on phone with husband: Be careful with that thing. Once you get it up you can't get it back down.
Hopkinsville, Kentucky
Overheard by: will1966
Assistant: No weeping! There's no weeping allowed in publishing!
Baltimore, Maryland
IT guy: If you're going to buy a Mac at this place, why don't you just save some money and buy a sack of potatoes instead? They'll both do the same amount of computing and a sack of potatoes is a lot cheaper!
Bethesda, Maryland
Overheard by: IT Chick
Coworker on sales call: Oh, yeah, you keep doing that–that's just too much fun to make you quit!
Franklin, Tennessee
Manager: I'm so stressed I'm going to jump out of the 5th floor window.
Coworker: It's not high enough. You'd need to go to at least the 7th to ensure death.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Team leader to claims adjuster: You know what? Sometimes you just gotta go in there, bend over and say “here, John*, just take me.”
Brentwood, Tennessee
