Cubicle rat #1, trying to read computer screen: Ugh! I wish I had good eyes!
Cubicle rat #2: Maybe you need glasses.
Cubicle rat #1: I don't need glasses. I need good eyes!
Braintree, Massachusetts
Cubicle rat #1, trying to read computer screen: Ugh! I wish I had good eyes!
Cubicle rat #2: Maybe you need glasses.
Cubicle rat #1: I don't need glasses. I need good eyes!
Braintree, Massachusetts
Cube dweller: Friends help friends move. Real friends help friends move bodies.
Fountain Valley, California
Overheard by: TravisPeriod
Older rep approaching retirement to 30-something coworker: You have to tease it to get it to start squirting.
Manhattan, New York
Accountant: Jumping through fire's not that hard. You just… go over it. You know how, when you wave your hand over a flame, you don't get burned? It's like that, but with your whole body.
Los Angeles, California
Peon: Don't get stoned with two birds in one throw. (pause) Wait…
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Boss: Have triplets at once, get it over and done with.
Accountant: I'll have my kids one at a time, thanks.
Wellington
New Zealand
Guest to another, leaving hotel: Just keep popping off like that, and you too can be divorced!
Okmulgee, Oklahoma
Coworker on phone with husband: Be careful with that thing. Once you get it up you can't get it back down.
Hopkinsville, Kentucky
Overheard by: will1966
Assistant: No weeping! There's no weeping allowed in publishing!
Baltimore, Maryland
