Mortgage Specialist: I have to say this loan is for you. In fact, if you were to reject the loan I would frankly have to drive down to
your house and shoot your porch light out.
Borrower: Well we can’t have that now, can we?
440 W 200 S
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: AK 47
Boss: From now on, every time I call someone a ‘twat,’ just presume you’re Cc:ed in on it.
Power station
Wales
Coworker to customer: That’s what nipple rings are for.
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Woman, very seriously: You need to start getting really depressed if you want to be funny.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Fashion editor: Our editors are not sneaker enthusiasts. It’s really hard for me to do a story saying this is the most important sneaker of our generation.
1166 Avenue of the Americas
New York, New York
Drone #1: I am trying really hard to stay away from these cookies on my desk.
Drone #2: Oh my God, tell me about it. Those cookies are GOOD.
Drone #1: Maybe if I look at how many calories they have, it’ll be easier to stay away. One cookie, 120 calories.
Drone #3: Well, how many calories are you supposed to have?
Drone #1: I don’t know. I think 2000 calories is supposed to be average.
Drone #3: And the cookies are 120? Then you can eat all you want!
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Southern woman: No! You suck the head because that’s where all the juice is!
Confused employee #1: I thought your shirt said “Bite the head off and eat the meat!”
Confused employee #2: What the fuck are you sadistic bitches talking about?
Southern woman (laughing): Crawdads! I’m talking about crawdads!
West Fargo, North Dakota
Overheard by: Orion
Banker lady: You know, Catherine Deneuve said, ‘At a certain point you have to decide between your ass and your face…’
9 West 57th Street
New York, New York
Manager: So, can we finally take his picture off the home page?
Developer: What’s the matter? Do you have something against nipples?
Manager: I don’t even like the word ‘nipples.’ ‘Butter,’ that’s another word I don’t like.
Developer: You should meet a friend of mine. She doesn’t like the word ‘goggles’.
Centre St
New York
