Admins

Seriously, Men Can Get Pretty Tedious

Female secretary #1: I was hoping to mow the lawn today, but I probably won't be able to because of the weather.
Female secretary #2: Yeah, it sounds like it's supposed to rain this afternoon.
Male clerk: Oh, I didn't think weather matters when it comes to mowing the lawn.
Female secretary #1: Sure it does. You get all the grass stuck on the blades, and it causes all sorts of problems.
Male clerk: No, I was referring to the other type of mowing the lawn.
Female secretary #1: Oh. Well, yeah. The weather doesn't really matter for that. And that's more of a daily thing, anyway.

Albany, New York

But I'd Rather Get My Raise in Cash

Assistant: I am not one to turn down free sex toys.

Culver City, California

Overheard by: LaLa Land

Every Office Has Its Ninja

Systems admin to office manager: And she didn't tell me he was coming up right behind her!
Sales assistant, walking through the room: I didn't know he was going to follow me! One minute he was in his office talking about roosters and the next minute he's standing behind me at your desk! He was sneaky!

Charlotte, North Carolina

So I've Read on the Men's Room Wall.

Sales rep on phone: I haven't done either, but I think that skiing would be easier.
Assistant: I don't know, I think I'd have a hard time keeping my legs together.

Kansas City, Missouri

Overheard by: PJ

And What Is Your Plan for Keeping It from Them?

Analyst: I can give you the numbers in those divisions, but you can’t go public with it.
Marketing manager: I’m not going to go public with it, just present it at a meeting.
Analyst: Who’s going to be at the meeting?
Marketing manager: It’s a stakeholder meeting. So, whoever wants to, you know. It’s open to the public.

16340 North Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, Arizona

You're Turning Violet, Violet!

Peon: Oh my god! Who made the coffee?
Secretary: I did. What's wrong with it?
Peon: This stuff is like liquid crack!
Secretary: You're such a sissy. You added half a cup of blueberry creamer!
Peon: Seriously, I think I'm having chest pains. Call 911!

Bangor, Michigan

Overheard by: Love my coffee

2PM Update Files

Admin: One of our districts is having trouble modifying a document from our website.
Graphic Designer: It can’t be modified. It’s a PDF.
Admin: Right. So I was wondering if you would turn off the PDF so they can make their changes.
Graphic Designer: …Um, no.

2100 I-70 Drive SW
Columbia, Missouri

But That’s Public Service, Isn’t It?

Legislative aide: I just wouldn’t want to be in the middle of a threesome. You have to keep going in and out, in and out…

House of Representatives Seat Selection, Michigan State Capitol
Lansing, Michigan

To Be Fair, 70% Of the Time, That's the Correct Answer

Older gent doing crossword: What's a five letter word for “Stem with a bow?”
Secretary: That's “Stern with a bow”.
Older gent: So it's not “stem”? That doesn't make sense. I'm putting in “Oleo”.

State Office
Tampa, Florida

Overheard by: Sandy Paws

Hard Night Last Night, Bobby?

Secretary to coworker: Do you need me to hole punch this copy to scan for the website?

Austin, Texas

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