Words

Teen girl, holding a bag with a dead bird inside: My grandfather called earlier about getting this bird checked for West Nile virus. He found it in his yard.
Office clerk: Ok, I remember talking to him this morning. I need to get some information from you first. Now, what was his name?

The girl’s eyes get big, and she looks at the bag.

Office clerk: No, not the bird’s name. I need to know your grandfather’s name.

616 Court Street
Oberlin, Louisiana

Overheard by: Vicky

Director #1: [Beth], sit over here!
Director #2: Yeah [Beth], this is the power row.

2111 North Haskell Avenue
Dallas, Texas

CSR: Ma’am, my system is backed up and my computer is going down on me.

300 Rosewood Drive
Danvers, Massachusetts

Engineer on phone to pumper: You gotta have the sucking and the blowing. (pause) Does he have liquid? (pause) That's why you gotta keep on blowing and sucking. (pause) Yeah, great, thanks.

Dallas, Texas

Boss, to friend: So then I took her out to my car and let little Spiderman fire his web shooter all over her fa…
Employee, from back in the stockroom: Aaaaaaaaaaaaarghh! Jesus Christ, I'm quitting.

Hot Topic
West Virginia

Overheard by: oh dear

Eager presenter: We need people who can walk the talk and live the walk.

Kirtland, Ohio

Overheard by: street smart, no street genuis!

Manager: So Mike* is leaving.
Office peon #1: Will anyone notice? What does he do, anyway?
Office peon #2: He's a fluffer.
Office peon #1: What?!
Office peon #2: What? He, y'know, fluffs out his job so it looks like he's doing more than he is.
Manager to office peon #1: After the meeting, you explain.

Brisbane
Australia

Overheard by: EarleyDaysYet

Cube rat #1: My mouse is being such a pain lately.
Cube rat #2: You should get one of those mouses that, y’know, doesn’t have a cord. Oh, man, what are those called, again?
Cube rat #1: Um, a cordless mouse?

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: I work with monkeys

Co-worker on phone: When you get out of the subway station start walking North–
Manager: Don’t tell them that…your North is different from my North and it’s a tarantula downpour outside. You don’t want them walking the wrong way in the rain.
Co-worker: Everyone’s North is the same and it’s torrential downpour.
Manager: Everyone’s North is the same? I always get my Norths mixed up.

535 8th Avenue
New York, NY

Overheard by: Angie Rowe

Head chef: You know what a cabbage is!
Other chef: (blank look)

Restaurant
Regional Queensland
Australia