Words

Coworker: Their phone number is 800-pfaucet.
Customer: Is that capitalized?

Chico, California

UPS: I’ve got a big one for you today!
Office Manager: Ooh! I’ll take it!

10801 Main Street
Bellevue, Washington

Overheard by: Jeni Gonzales

Boss: Take me as a critic, but then also look at it with a hypocritical eye yourself.

25 Broadway,
New York, NY

Manager: Well if they don't fill out the forms right, they don't get their shit. I have no sympathy for them…and you know what I say? If they want to find sympathy, they can look in the dictionary between “shit” and “syphilis.”

Providence, Rhode Island

Overheard by: Katie M

Lesbian: Just say it: Vagina.
Queen: Virgina?
Lesbian: Vagina!
Editor: I can’t wait till our first lawsuit…

W 35th
Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: token chick

Person on phone: “My bad” is out in Salt Lake City? Really? I’m just laughing because my son says that all the time. Do you guys say, “snap,” too?

401 North Washington Street
Rockville, Maryland

Overheard by: Listening In

Associate #1: I've been planning to do that when I get a day off.
Associate #2: Ok… So when do you get off?

Law Firm
Johannesburg
South Africa

Overheard by: Luke Wolfson

Peon in meeting, after VP has announced new sales pitch: So we're basically ripping off customers.
(sudden group silence)

Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Overheard by: Go!

Sales guy: We’re going to go around the room and name unique things about [the company]. If you can’t think of one when it’s your turn, you have to sit down. The last person standing wins a gift card to Starbucks.
Drone #1: Trustworthy.
Drone #2: Resilient.
Drone #3: Global services.
Drone #4: Inspiring.
Drone #5: Focused.
Drone #6: Capabilities.
Drone #7: Multicultural.
Drone #8: People care.
Drone #9: Adaptability.
Drone #1: Secure.
Drone #2: Employer of choice.
Drone #3: Financial viability.
Drone #4: Responsive.
Drone #5: Integrity.
Drone #6: Straightforward.
Drone #7: Ambitious.
Drone #8: Expertise.
Drone #9: Innovative.
Drone #1: Reliable.
etc…

350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY

Co-worker on phone: Hi [Victor], I was just calling about the new nano covers. They are priced the same and everything but one comes with a little white strap and the other comes with a big black one…So it’s just the customer’s choice whether they want a big black one or a little white one?

432 St. Kilda Road
Melbourne, Victoria
Australia

Overheard by: Data Monkey