Boss: So do you think I should get 3 pies for the meeting since we have 30 people?
Worker Bee #1: Sure, 3 pies should be enough.
Worker Bee #2: I think you need more than 3.
Worker Bee #1: How many do you think we should get?
Worker Bee #2: We need 3.14159 pi.
Boss: Get out of my office. Now.
1010 Second Avenue
San Diego, California
Wife, reading advertisement: What is an erotic petting zoo?
Husband: A what?
Wife, louder: An erotic petting zoo!
Husband, looking: That says “exotic” petting zoo.
Wife: Oh, well…that makes more sense.
Pigeon Forge, Tennessee
Head of technology development: I'm going to spend some time on Twitter. What do you call that? I'm going to twat?
Female employee: No, I don't think that could possibly be right.
Grove City, Ohio
Office grunt: I do have a great divide!
9350 Wilshire Boulevard
Beverly Hills, California
Overheard by: lonecomic
Intern: I'd tap that.
Boss: What?!
Intern: I mean…I'd like to talk about mutual funds with that.
Boston, Massachusetts
Customer: It smells like incest in here… Wait, no, incense.
Golf Shop
Macon, Georgia
Overheard by: What do pine-scented candles remind you of?
Coworker #1: Hey, they're stupid, this is already the third time they are sending me the same bill.
Coworker #2: You know what, it's called a “reminder.”
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: Bächli
Young female coworker #1: Oh, so I guess there's a criminal on the loose in Arlington Heights.
Older female coworker: Better not leave any little dogs out.
Young female coworker #2: What?
Young female coworker #1: Oh, he might take 'em. He even looks like a criminal.
Older female coworker: Wait, you said “cougar,” right?
Young female coworker #2: Why would a cougar want a little dog?
Young female coworker #1: I said “criminal”!
Young female coworker #2: Oh, you mean the animal, not a woman!
(they laugh)
Young female coworker #1: Wow, that was the most misinterpreted conversation ever!
Older female coworker: Three way!!
Young female coworker #1: Again… Wow!
Oakbrook Terrace, Illinois
Overheard by: Dying in a Cubicle
Coworker #1: Yeah, I don't know how many balls come in a box.
Coworker #2: You realize box is slang for 'vagina,' right?
Coworker #1: Awkward…
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Ian
Boss: Hey, are you working hard…?
Employee: Or hardly working? Wait… I mean, “yes, I'm working hard.”
Cleveland, Ohio
