Student: Hi, I was wondering what time you closed.
Front desk clerk: We close tonight at midnight.
Student: Yeah, but what time exactly? Like 9 pm?
Seattle, Washington
Student: Hi, I was wondering what time you closed.
Front desk clerk: We close tonight at midnight.
Student: Yeah, but what time exactly? Like 9 pm?
Seattle, Washington
Admin: Here’s your new door tag.
Advisor: “Stud serv prog coord”? That’s my new title?
Admin: Well, it’s abbreviated.
Advisor: Can we make the text smaller so it’s not abbreviated?
Admin: Why? You don’t want to be a stud service?
Advisor: I’m afraid they wouldn’t get their money’s worth.
Lake Road
Merced, California
Overheard by: sooo true.
Red-faced, furious manager, gesticulating at mildly messy sales rack: This is a disaster! Everyone put everything everywhere!
Plymouth, Michigan
Female coworker: What does “truncated” mean?
Male coworker: It’s like… If you shortened an elephant’s trunk, it would be truncated.
(pause)
Female coworker: But this e-mail doesn’t even say anything about elephants.
Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Babar
Trainer: He’s a great guy, but he’s very… How should I put this?
New hire: Anal?
Trainer: Yes. I love anal.
Eagan, Minnesota
Front desk agent #1: So anything involving more than five people is considered a gang-bang then, since you don’t have “five-some”. That just sounds weird.
Front desk agent #2: It has to do more with the girl-to-guy ratio. If the ratio is close to one to one, then it’s an orgy. Otherwise, it’s a gang-bang.
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: Lobby Patron
Puzzled physical therapist: So, what position do you play on the football team?
Stoner high school athlete: I play wide receiver, defensive back, running back, you know, I’m a utensil player.
1300 East
Sandy, Utah
Overheard by: The Fork
Financial advisor on phone with possible client: I gave you what you needed. You have the paperwork. You see my partners’ names. Just don’t bullshit me… Stop cursing! I didn’t curse. I said bullshit, that’s not a curse.
50th and Broadway
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Stuck in this Cube
Editor #1: Is it fiction?
Editor #2: Yeah, it’s an adult book. I mean, regular fiction, not young adult. That always sounds so weird, adult book.
Editor #1, laughing: I know!
Editor #2: Like it was a little book that grew up!
Editor #1: … Yeah. Like that.
Murray Hill
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Rose Fox
