Wishes

Coworker #1: Yes, we are going to go to McDonald's.
Coworker #2: Oh! Can I come? I'll get my socks so I can go on the slide.

Appleton, Wisconsin

Young female cashier to coworker: I saw this sign at Caribou Coffee that said “fire sprinkler.” I really want to see one of those. I mean, what is it? Does it shoot out fire or something?

Fairborn, Ohio

Thoughtful intern: Maybe when I retire I'll be able to trade my books for other things. Like banana bread. I could trade them to the other old ladies in the nursing home. Hey, Betty Sue, I finished this werewolf Jane Austen mashup… Do I smell cookies?

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Rose Fox

White dude to black coworker: The cool thing about Obama is that he is able to transcend race. He’s the ultimate embodiment of American multiculturalism and pluralism. He’s white and black, and his race doesn’t matter, he’s got character, which was Martin Luther King’s dream, that people would be judged according to the content of their character, not the color of their skin.
White dude #2: Yeah, well, I just can’t wait until Obama gets into office and he invites MTV over to the White House to film an episode of Cribs and he’s got a stripper pole in the basement right by his poster of Scarface.

130th Street
Tacoma, Washington

Overheard by: Stan Green

Co-worker #1: Hey! Welcome back. I can’t believe you have mono!
Co-worker #2: Yeah, [Tamra] wants to make out with you so she can lose 50 pounds.

1700 Montgomery Street
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Stephani

Cubicle dweller: Hopefully I can get Mark* to fill my slot.

Manhattan, New York

Office girl #1: Is there a shortcut to delete something in excel?
Office girl #2: Just hit delete.
Office girl #1: Yeah but you know how Control-c is copy and Control-v is paste.
Office girl #2: Well there is an actual delete button.
Office girl #1: No, I know -I am just trying to save time.
Office girl #2: Well hitting two buttons is not going to be quicker than hitting one.
Office girl #1: I know -but it’s a shortcut, you know?
Office girl #2: Google it.

Corporate Pointe
Culver City, California

Overheard by: Lyn

Worker #1: [Sneezes.][Several moments pass.]Worker #2: Oh… Bless you.
Worker #1: Thanks, Merry Christmas.

Los Angeles, California

Woman sipping her soda through a straw, the day after the super bowl: If I suck hard enough, will Justin Timberlake come?

Lincoln Village Drive
Rancho Cordova, California

Overheard by: That’s What She Said

Old lady: Are they big ones?
Young lady: You only want big ones?
Old lady: That's all I ever do anymore.
Young lady: I'll find you a couple big ones.
Old lady: What's big to you?

Delran, New Jersey

Overheard by: Bruce Banner