Director: So, Amy* wants to know if you'd like to have dinner with her and Sandy* and I next weekend. But I told her I'd have to take the gag out to ask you. She said she understood.
Model wearing gag: Mmmm fweee nnn maturdway.
Director: Great, I'll let her know!
Adult Film Company
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: fetishgirl
Colleague: He has trouble communicating. He can only say one word at a time.
Lawrenceville, New Jersey
Overheard by: Exceptional Communicator
Coworker #1: Slap chop? Oh, that guy is hilarious!
Coworker #2: Oh, yeah, he went to jail. For getting beaten up by a hooker!
Coworker #1: What? She beat him up, or he beat her up?
Coworker #2: He hit her, and she punched him back in the eye. His mugshot has a big black eye in it.
Coworker #1: See, he should have gotten a daintier hooker.
Coworker #2: Yeah… That's the moral of the story.
Reston, Virginia
Employee, clocking in at reception: What are you doing to your hand?
Receptionist: I'm sniffing teabags!
Employee: Oooooookay…
Houston, Texas
Financial Officer: See, I've always liked Shakespeare. I thought he was funny. You know, like Macbeth. Macbeth was funny. He was a crazy guy.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: frustrated intern
Man: Do you have a restroom?
Woman: Yes, through that door. You should know the handle is broken.
Man: Does it accept?
Woman: Um, yeah…
Man: Good, as long as it accepts, that's all that matters. I've got quite the load, if you know what I mean.
Napa, California
Employee #1: Dude, would you ever fuck a dead chick?
Employee #2: What? No! (pause) Would you?
Employee #1: Well, only if she was still warm.
Wheaton, Illinois
Overheard by: MindControlFun
Bank teller, commenting on name change: Oh, you're getting married?
Blonde woman, cheerfully: Oh no, I'm getting a divorce!
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
