IT worker: So what do you want to call your server?
Female coworker: How about Skynet? Everybody loves Skynet!
Male coworker: If you call it Skynet I will stab you in the eye.
Female coworker: Well, everyone except him.
North Queensland
Australia
Overheard by: Sarah Connor
Normally quiet female VP: Are you kidding me? The cops here are all violent wanna-be cowboys, overcompensating for the butt-plugs and kiddie porn in their sock drawers!
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: very quietly agrees
Irate cafeteria worker to 14-year-old daughter, over phone: I will fight you like I'd fight an enemy in the street.
Garden City, New York
Overheard by: emma pilsbury
Secretary to another: So I had a dream that you and I murdered Ryan, and all I could think was I was upset because I just friended him on Facebook.
Allentown, Pennsylvania
Employee: Tom*, do you want to go to lunch?
Tom*: No! I want to kill someone!
Dublin
Ireland
Female coworker: I will break you. I will bend you right over this desk.
Alexandria, Virginia
Coworker on phone: If you ever do that again, I'm gonna spank your ass.
Calgary
Canadia
Coworker, arguing against gun regulations: They say that easy access to guns leads to mass killings. Well, there's easy access to prostitutes but I don't have syphilis. I restrain myself.
Nashville, Tennessee
Grad student #1: Dude, don't get defensive, but we all have a theory that you're going to snap like that guy from Yale.
Grad student #2: What?! I'm nothing like that guy!
Grad student #1: But you're a control freak, and you have anger issues.
Grad student #2: I'm not a control freak! I just get pissed off at people when they don't do what they're supposed to!
University Park, Pennsylvania
Female worker, at a work-sponsored pizza party: My older brother picked on me all the time. Play-fighting, just rough-housing, you know. He is deceased, now.
Insensitive female worker: Because she killed him!
San Francisco, California
