Isn't That Just the Fax Machine?

Boss: They're firing a warning shot over the left bow.

Dayton, Ohio

Posted on October 4, 2010
Bosses, Ohio, Violence, Weirdness

Time to Get a Court Order and Change the Locks, Honey

Lady in elevator: And then I laid there and thought about what I'd do if he really killed someone.

Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: Rachel

Posted on October 1, 2010
Crimes, Death, Employees, Oregon, Violence, Weirdness

Jean-Claude Van Damme Has Had Difficulty Holding Down a Normal Job

Annoyed shop assistant, after difficult customer has left: That guy is going straight on my enemies list.
Manager: One for the firing squad, eh?
Annoyed shop assistant: Blood in the streets…
Manager: Yeah, let's purge that son of a bitch.

Leamington Spa
England

Overheard by: Bleep

Posted on September 27, 2010
Bosses and Underlings, England, Insults, Threats, Violence

…Choosing Between Ones and Zeroes All Day Long

IT director, leaving: If anyone needs me, I'll be in the storage room trying to hang myself. I can't deal with this shit anymore.

Kansas City, Missouri

Posted on September 20, 2010
Bosses, Death, Missouri, Tech People, Violence, Weirdness

…Aaaand Send!

Frustrated office dweller: Die, die, die! Poke you in the eye!

West Perth
Australia

Overheard by: IT Guru

Posted on September 17, 2010
Australia, Death, Employees, Threats, Violence, Weirdness

Isn't This a Passage in the Bible?

Programmer #1: But I'd have a justified reason to kill you.
Programmer #2: Huh?
Programmer #1: You punched a kitten.

Adelaide
Australia

Posted on August 16, 2010
Animals, Australia, Coworkers, Crimes, Death, Tech People, Threats, Violence

Jay-Z Has a Reasonable Doubt About Beyoncé

Paralegal: So I ripped her arm off.
Lawyer #1: Wait. What part do I get?
Paralegal: You get her leg.
Lawyer #2: Just don't leave her booty behind.

Indiana

Overheard by: I think I'll be leaving now.

Posted on June 8, 2010
Body Parts, Indiana, Lawyers, Violence

#2 has long since learned to agree with whatever the guy holding the welder says

Hard hat #1: I hate television without sex, violence and nudity.
Hard hat #2: You bet!

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: loopster

Posted on May 31, 2010
Friends, Gripes, Illinois, Sexuality, TV, Violence

Your Editors Will Never Understand Canadian Threats

Supervisor: Do it my way, or else I'll have your head on a pike! And I don't mean a spear, I mean the fish!

Montreal
Canadia

Overheard by: peon

Posted on May 14, 2010
Animals, Bosses, Canadia, Sensory Experiences, Threats, Violence

A Place for Everything, and Everything in Its Place

Male coworker with upbeat demeanor: Well, let's just cut my head off and set it somewhere…

North Scottsdale, Arizona

Posted on May 14, 2010
Arizona, Body Parts, Coworkers, Violence, Weirdness

Violence