HR person: My kids in my home are never too old to be spanked. My daughter’s fourteen, and I’ll beat her ass. Then I’ll tell her, ‘It’s not over. Wait ’til I call your father and he beats your ass.’
1190 North Del Rio Place
Ontario, California
HR person: My kids in my home are never too old to be spanked. My daughter’s fourteen, and I’ll beat her ass. Then I’ll tell her, ‘It’s not over. Wait ’til I call your father and he beats your ass.’
1190 North Del Rio Place
Ontario, California
Professor: … And so, if X equals three, then Y— [loud commotion out in the hall] … I’ve been a little jumpy ever since this one time when I got stabbed in class by a student.
Norfolk, Virginia
Overheard by: thinking about transferring
Sales guy slamming down phone: Fucking bitch.
Boss: Tell me you didn’t just slam the phone down on our biggest billing client.
Sales guy: What? She couldn’t hear that.
Boss: What the fuck are you talking about?! I get the phone slammed down on me all the time — I fucking hear it.
Sales guy: Yeah, I guess maybe she could hear it.
Boss, picking up phone: Call me.
Sales guy, getting very nervous: No, it’s okay. I’m sorry.
Boss: Fucking call me. I said call me! Fucking do it now! [Sales guy calls. Boss starts slamming his receiver against his desk screaming] Can you fucking hear that?! Huh?! Can you fucking hear it, bitch?!
Sales guy: I hear it, boss, I hear it. Please, please stop.
Cleveland Street
Valley Stream, New York
Overheard by: amused coworker
Admin #1: Ya know, for all the quirky ways about her, Susan really is adorable.
Admin #2: Oh, yay! She is very attractive, but sometimes ya just wanna smash her.
Houston, Texas
Coworker: So wait, did it happen on September or November 11th?
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: J
Mortgage Specialist: I have to say this loan is for you. In fact, if you were to reject the loan I would frankly have to drive down to
your house and shoot your porch light out.
Borrower: Well we can’t have that now, can we?
440 W 200 S
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: AK 47
Lady in cube on phone: Hey, where's a good place to buy dad a new holster for his .38? (pause) No! I got him bullets last year!
Aliso Viejo, California
Concerned mother on phone with daycare: Does he normally hit his friends like that?
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: Db's mom
Production manager: I'm going to kick some Chinese ass!
Entry woman: Knock their slanty eyes straight!
Essex, Maryland
Overheard by: NOT a racist
Bossman: Ted*, keep in mind: if you screw this up, we will beat you like a pinñata. We'll beat you till the candy comes out.
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Bossman Cometh
