4PM Buy New Fax

Boss: So that fax machine is jamming again? I thought the repairman was just in here fixing it? What did he say?
Employee: No, it was that one that he fixed. You switched the faxes, right? So the good one is up here and the bad one is in the back?
Boss: No. I told you this morning that I wasn’t going to do that because your mom was coming in to fax tomorrow so we might as well just get the bad one fixed.
Employee: Who were you talking to? The repair guy? Are you sure you were talking to me?
Boss: No, I was talking to the post.

18 Sycamore Avenue
Ho-Ho-Kus, New Jersey

Overheard by: GrIzZlEbEe!!!

Posted on January 23, 2020
Bosses and Underlings, Comebacks, Family, General Idiocy, New Jersey, Questions, Technology, Time Management

4PM Talk to HR

Assistant: I submitted this check request a month ago, can you tell me why it hasn’t been paid yet?
Accountant: Oh, you wanted it paid?

40 W. 20th Street
New York, NY

Overheard by: Faith Black

Posted on January 22, 2020
Financial Folk, General Idiocy, Money, New York, Questions, Receptionists, Time Management

9AM Tread Lightly Today

Co-worker on phone: “What am I working on?” I’m working on not killing anyone. What’re you working on?

640 Fifth Avenue
New York, NY

Posted on January 6, 2020
Coworkers, New York, Time Management, Violence

2PM Double Team Meeting

VP: So are you ready to service me yet?
Peon: Yes, I am ready to pleasure you now.
VP: Sounds good; is [Alex] ready too?
[Alex]: Yes, m’lady, I too am ready to provide you my services.
VP: Let’s go get started in the blue room, then.

8441 Wayzata Boulevard
Golden Valley, Minnesota

Overheard by: Sam Racadabra

Posted on December 30, 2019
Bosses and Underlings, Executives, Offers and requests, Sexuality, Time Management, Words

You Can Always Tell the Employees Who Own Livestock

On the phone: I have had such a bad morning, I'm so glad to be at work now so I can just sit back and relax.

Omaha, Nebraska

Posted on December 11, 2019
Nebraska, On the phone, Time Management

Dr., Have You Noticed That the Men in This Ward Have Seizures Every Weekday Afternoon?

Old man worker #1, across the room: Is the softball team jumping around again?
Old man worker #2, looking out the window: No, they’re running now.
Old man worker #1: That’s just as good.

College Boulevard
Overland Park, Kansas

Posted on December 7, 2019
Creepsters, Kansas, Time Management

Dear World, I’m Killing Myself at This Time to Inconvenience Cousin Bob

Co-Worker: My cousin died in a car accident yesterday.
Boss: Oh, I’m sorry.
Co-Worker: Yeah. The funeral is Saturday in St. Louis.
Boss: Will you be going?
Co-Worker: Oh no! That’s not enough time for me to get everything around and make it down there! I mean, maybe if they had given me a week’s notice…

Olentangy River Road
Columbus, Ohio

Posted on December 5, 2019
Bosses, Coworkers, Death, Dumb Employees, General Idiocy, Gripes, Ohio, Time Management

10AM Set Up Booth

Interviewer: So, how long have you been at this address?
Applicant: All day until I heard about this job fair.

450 Clyde Fant Parkway
Shreveport, Louisiana

Posted on October 24, 2019
Comebacks, Interviewers/Interviewees, Louisiana, Questions, Time Management

But First Text Me to Let Me Know It’s an Important Call

Marketing guy: Why haven’t you kept me up to date on this account?
Ops guy: I’ve CC-ed you on every email I sent to them.
Marketing guy: I don’t have time to read my emails. There’s too much information in them. If you send me an important email give me a call to let me know I need to check it.

1700 Research Boulevard
Rockville, Maryland

Overheard by: Septimus

Posted on October 22, 2019
Dumb Employees, Maryland, Technology, Time Management

You’re on the List of Idiots Born August 5th, Though

Coworker #1: Hey, look — a list of famous people born on Friday the 13th.
Coworker #2: I wonder if I was born on Friday the 13th…
Coworker #1: When’s your birthday?
Coworker #2: August 5th.
Coworker #1: Then no…

Weehawken, New Jersey

Overheard by: Brian

Posted on September 17, 2019
Age and ageing, Coworkers, General Idiocy, New Jersey, Questions, Time Management

Time Management