Time Management

VP to manager: My job is going across the street saying things aren't going very well, and your job is to come to me and tell me things aren't going very well.

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: debragail

Boss: What's the hourly rate for Becky? (pause) I want to know her hourly rate. How much per hour?

Lexington, Kentucky

Overheard by: Brian

Cubicle rat in break room: What time is it?
Bagger, looking at digital time clock: 6:30, straight up.

Albertsons Supermarket
California

Overheard by: Bill

Assistant: Are you going to be in next week?
VP: Yes, unless al-Qaeda does something.

1120 20th Street NW
Washington, DC

Staff member holding disheveled pile of papers: Now I have to go hand this in with the pages all crinkly ’cause someone threw a water balloon into my cubicle.

Washington, DC

Overheard by: culprit

Co-worker #1: Every time I see you you have Subway.
Co-worker #2: Yup, I get it every day.
Co-worker #1: What are you, Jared?

200 Park Avenue
New York, NY

Engineer to secretary: I don't want to be accused of misplacing nine years of your life!

Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: 812

Secretary, getting off business phone call: I don't have time to work with all of this… I need to be planning my Easter dinner.

Kansas City, Missouri

Overheard by: work always gets in the way

Part time girl: Isn't it illegal to work five days in a row?
Coworker: That's what normal people do.
Part time girl: Oh…that sucks.

Sacramento, California

Overheard by: Nicole

Underling #1: Man, this sucks, you can always tell when someone’s about to get let go.
Underling #2: Yeah?
Underling #1: Well yeah. [The boss] is still here.
Underling #2: How does that–
Underling #1: It’s 3:30pm!…Hello? It’s Friday!

5790 Fleet Street
Carlsbad, California

Overheard by: Milton Waddams