Engineer #1: What is taking her so long?
Engineer #2: We're starving in here!
Engineer #1: Ya! Hasn't she ever heard of the Donner Party?!
Utah
Engineer #1: What is taking her so long?
Engineer #2: We're starving in here!
Engineer #1: Ya! Hasn't she ever heard of the Donner Party?!
Utah
Guy on bench: I know, this is ridiculous. I’ve been waiting three hours to turn myself in.
Precinct 1
Cincinnati, Ohio
Accountant: This chicken [Sue] brought in is yummy. I’m just going to take a break to eat it here rather than take it back to my desk. I don’t trust myself not to get my paperwork all greasy.
Supervisor: That’s why I’m going to make a sandwich out of it.
Secretary: Oh, I don’t care about greasy fingers. All I do is handle incoming checks all day.
401 Church Street
Nashville, Tennessee
Account Exec #1: Your hair looks short today. Did you wash it this morning?
Account Exec #2: Yeah, I contemplated not washing it, but I decided I should.
Account Exec #1: Friday isn’t a hair washing day.
Account Exec #2: Well, I didn’t wash it yesterday.
Account Exec #1: [Lucy] can go a couple of days without washing her hair.
Account Exec #2: A couple of days?
Account Exec #1: Well, it’s more or less a question of whether or not her scalp is sweaty and smelly.
171 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Nurse walks out to designated smoking area as her pager goes off.
Nurse, shaking her head in disgust: ‘Emergency!’ Of course. Why these people gotta be goin’ into diabetic shock when I wanna go outside? [Sits down to smoke cigarette.]
1031 SW Fleming Court
Topeka, Kansas
Overheard by: Jonna
VP to manager: My job is going across the street saying things aren't going very well, and your job is to come to me and tell me things aren't going very well.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: debragail
Boss: What's the hourly rate for Becky? (pause) I want to know her hourly rate. How much per hour?
Lexington, Kentucky
Overheard by: Brian
Cubicle rat in break room: What time is it?
Bagger, looking at digital time clock: 6:30, straight up.
Albertsons Supermarket
California
Overheard by: Bill
Assistant: Are you going to be in next week?
VP: Yes, unless al-Qaeda does something.
1120 20th Street NW
Washington, DC
Staff member holding disheveled pile of papers: Now I have to go hand this in with the pages all crinkly ’cause someone threw a water balloon into my cubicle.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: culprit
