Patient: What day is today?
Staff: Today is Thursday.
Patient: Hmmm… Is it last Thursday?
Staff: No, it’s this Thursday.
Patient: Oh.
Psychiatric hospital
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Another staff member
Patient: What day is today?
Staff: Today is Thursday.
Patient: Hmmm… Is it last Thursday?
Staff: No, it’s this Thursday.
Patient: Oh.
Psychiatric hospital
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Another staff member
Employee on phone: Yeah, you know, my dad died last weekend, which is a good thing… Hey, you wanna go fishin’?
Mesa, Arizona
Pregnant woman in meeting: This is Kate, she'll be taking over for me, since I'll be leaving in March to reproduce.
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Really?
Employee: I’ve been on e-mail since 5 AM, and all I see is incomptitude.
550 South Hope Street
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: hearing it in stereo
Female coworker who never shuts up: I woke up at 9:55 am. Soon as I woke up, I looked at my husband and he looked at me. I said, “did I tell you about the hallway skeleton?” He starting laughing, and I said “it's amazing.” He said, “not now.”
Dublin, Ohio
Cajun: Now I’m thinking about filling the giant jar of babies I have with formaldehyde.
Goodwood Boulevard
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: Booyakish
Anesthesiologist to orderly at computer: What's my schedule look like?
Orderly to anesthesiologist: At 3 o'clock you get to knock that woman out.
Hospital
New York City, New York
Person: Hi, I’m here for my 1 o’clock meeting. I know I’m a little early…
Receptionist: I’m sorry, what?
Person: I’m here for my meeting at 1; I’m early. Sorry about that.
Receptionist: Um…Yeah, it’s almost 3…So…
Person: Oh sorry, right, 3, must be in a different time zone.
9250 Beverly Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Employee working on ad for customer: It says here that this sale won’t be repeated. But down in the corner, it says ‘Third annual.’
Ludlow Street
Dayton, Ohio
Overheard by: Chuckling To Myself
Female co-worker #1: So my ob-gyn has been seeing all these young girls for their annuals this summer. She was amazed at how much sex they’re having. Like 2 to 3 times a day. She had to tell them they had to stop having intercourse for a month so the Pill could take effect, and they say, “What are we supposed to do all summer?” She was shocked.
Female co-worker #2: How old are these girls?
Female co-worker #1: She said they’re between 17 and 20 years old.
Female co-worker #2: Geez. Even if I had time to have sex 2 times a day, I’d have better things to do!
Female co-worker #1: Yeah, like clean up after my teenagers!
Motor Vehicle Building
Trenton, New Jersey
Overheard by: Not getting any either
